The Abyss
by Wind and Ashes
Summary: “He looked at peace like nothing could touch him & in a way nothing could. Even if it did it wouldn’t matter because he had another world to go into. An escape he took regularly with good faith he’d be saved from that which he ran.” (drugs)
1. Memories

"He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze into the abyss, take care that the abyss does not gaze into you."  
  
  
  
-Nietzsche  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Was this what his world had become?   
  
  
  
A monster…or something worse?   
  
  
  
Draco looked over to his girlfriend, she was laying in bed fast asleep. The moonlight fell across her beautiful face, her hair fanned out across the pillow. He kissed her gently on the cheek. Murmuring, she rolled over to get closer to him.   
  
  
  
It was probably three or four in the morning but he was used to this insomnia by now. Decisions had been plaguing his mind these last few months, his world had changed just before then, and he was now able to see around him as the dust had finally settled.  
  
  
  
Sighing deeply he got up and put his nightshirt on. It was still dark outside and no lights were turned on, but he'd done this so many times no light was needed. He knew the rout by heart. As quietly as he could he walked into the adjoining room, careful not to wake any one.  
  
  
  
He leaned over the crib, just watching his sons' chest rise and fall slowly. Their child was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, well, besides his girlfriend. It was such a big deal for him to raise his son 'correctly'. He wasn't going to beat him, abandon him, or ever give him the idea he wasn't wanted.  
  
  
  
Draco was so lost in thought he hadn't seen the toddlers eyes open, until he made a slight gurgling sound. A slow smile spread across Draco's face as Skyler yawned and reach up to his father. He picked him up, making shushing noises and bouncing him slightly. Ginny had been so run down lately, she needed every ounce of sleep she could get.   
  
  
  
Yes, the two most precious things in his life…what did he want for them…what would he sacrifice?  
  
  
  
It didn't take him long to answer his own question.   
  
  
  
Everything.   
  
  
  
He would sacrifice everything…  
  
  
  
And in some ways he has, to provide the best he could for his family. Which was the best of everything if he may say so himself. But there were some things not even Gin knew about him. Like whose side he was fighting on. He told her he was neutral, and always would be. But she hadn't found his Death Eater uniform yet, nor did she have any idea what he'd done to innocent women and children just like his own family…  
  
  
  
Skyler was currently trying to eat a button off of Dracos' nightshirt. He held the child closer, rocking him slightly and holding his little hand.  
  
  
  
Is this what he wanted for his child? That kind of a world to live in? And, God willing, more of his children would live in? Whether or not to be part of the Dark Side was a decision he'd never had to think about before, well, not very in depth any way, and not since his school days at Hogwarts.   
  
  
  
His mind drifted off once more, but to that first night with her, Virginia Weasley. He remembered it just like it was yesterday. While some parts where a bit fuzzy, he'd blame that on the drugs, but he never did forget the first time he really /saw/ her, and was mesmerized by everything about her.  
  
  
  
It happened almost four years ago, in one of the astronomy towers, some time in the middle of the night….  
  
  
  
  
  
+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
There was no need to pull back now, not as if he could. Shadow puppets covered his eyes making funny hand gestures, and then his head was swimming. Shapes danced across his eyelids in colors he'd never seen before, let alone describe to some one else. And he felt pleasure like he'd never felt before…sometimes he couldn't decide which was better, sex or drugs.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
-=-=-=-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
The needle was still in the crook of his arm.   
  
  
  
And his body was sprawled out on the ground.  
  
  
  
This is how she found him, helpless and vulnerable for probably the first time in his life.   
  
  
  
She didn't move right away from her position against the wall, she just watched him. The blonde boy was still breathing, although his breaths became more labored. His hand moved, almost as if he was trying to lift his arm but only part of his body was listening. Then he muttered  
  
  
  
"…Jesus fucking Christ..."   
  
  
  
She slowly walked over toward him, maybe not the smartest thing to do, but she wanted to know if he was ok. Did she need to take him to the infirmary? Slowly kneeling down she touched his forehead. He felt clammy. 'eeeew' she thought, wiping her hands on her skirt.   
  
  
  
That's when she really noticed the needle in his arm. And it registered in her brain of what it could mean.  
  
  
  
"Oh my…." Virginia removed the needle carefully, as not to do any harm. Well, more harm than what had been done.   
  
  
  
But what to do with him?   
  
  
  
Actually this was nothing really new to her, this kind of situation. With 5 brothers (not including Percy) and Harry, all who get bored pretty easily and will try anything once…well lets just say she's seen it before. At least she knew he was only on a high, not overdosing.   
  
  
  
Great, now who is he?   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
-=-=-=-  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
God his head was killing him. Not only his head, but also his arms, and legs, fingers, even his /fingernails/. That must have been some shit, he thought. He wasn't sure where he was, but it was comfortable and so he tried to get back to sleep.  
  
  
  
Light from the day filtered in at some point, and landed on him.  
  
  
  
'Nooooo…bad sun. Go away you sodding sunlight. You aren't wanted here. Damn you!'  
  
  
  
Groaning he tried to sit up, only to find he forgot how to work his body. But mustering up enough strength to open one eye was enough to tell him he wasn't where he started out at.   
  
  
  
Wait…where did he start out at…?  
  
  
  
Well where ever it was it wasn't this place, that much he knew.  
  
  
  
Trying to remember what happened last night only made his head hurt worse…but he did remember some of the stuff he saw, or was it felt? He couldn't tell which, it was all kind of mixed up. Like he was able to taste colors or something. Or everything around him had sped up while his limbs felt like packed wet sand and he could barely move them. Then there was the girl…Draco groaned, the girl who did so /many/ amazing things with her tongue. To damn bad it was all in his head…out of all of his hallucinations during various 'drug-fests'; he would have loved for her to be real…  
  
  
  
About twenty minutes later Draco was able to sit up, blink, and process simple things like: It is noon according to the clock.  
  
  
  
That was when a girl walked in. He looked up, not really having anything to say to her, and so he didn't. Things in his mind were still a bit elementary at the moment.   
  
  
  
But the girl, Ginny Weasely, wasn't expecting him to be up. According to his choice of drugs he took last night he should be out for several more hours. They both stared at each other, sizing one another up, appraising.  
  
  
  
'Not bad…looks a bit young, but shaggable...'  
  
  
  
'Why is he looking at me like that? Poor boy must be confused as to where he is…'  
  
  
  
Virginia was the first to break the silence.  
  
  
  
Walking over to the bedside table and pulling a drawer open she said, "I found you last night, I wasn't sure what to do…so I brought you here. And I also grabbed your kit that was on the ground." Finding what she wanted, a zipped-closed brown leather case about the size of a small book, she shut the drawer.  
  
  
  
"Did you bring the needle?" he asked a bit worried.  
  
  
  
"Yes, it's in here, capped." Draco let out his breath. It was stupid of him to have done what he did last night. Any one could have found him, and leaving around his needles….  
  
  
  
She tossed the leather case to him.  
  
  
  
Surprisingly he caught it before it hit his chest, which now that he thought of it, was bare.  
  
  
  
"What the hell happened to my clothes?" he raised his voice a bit, narrowing his eyes at her.  
  
  
  
She raised her eyebrows at his language but answered none the less, "You ripped your shirt in one of your 'fits'. There really wasn't any point in keeping it" Ginny pointed to a chair in the corner of the room "It's over there if your that attached to it."  
  
  
  
He noticed she sounded a bit hurt. "I'm…sorry. I just…damn that was some pretty powerful shit I took last night. I'm still a bit…out of it."  
  
  
  
"Hmmm, I can tell." She had a small smile on her lips, and what nice lips those were, Draco noted.  
  
  
  
Yes, those drugs must have really fucked him up because he smiled a charming smile and said the first thing that came to mind, "Fancy a shag?"  
  
  
  
As soon as he said it, he knew it was the wrong thing to do. Her jaw dropped, then all of a sudden he wasn't looking at her any more…he was looking at the window to his right. Then he felt like he'd been slapped on his left cheek.   
  
  
  
He ran through the facts again and decided that, yes, he had been slapped on his left cheek.  
  
  
  
By the time he'd discovered which way he was looking she'd already turned around. When she'd reached the door she caught his eye and said, "You are so bloody disgusting! I should have left you were I found you, bastard." And she slammed the door.  
  
  
  
Draco shrugged and laid back down to sleep, 'Maybe she wasn't in the mood.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N): To see when the next chapter will be up, or to get a link to my email please go to my Fanfiction profile and click on my homepage link. Up-dates are listed at the top of the page, and descriptions at the bottom. Thank you for reading and please review with any helpful advice/comments.   
  
  
  
-Wind and Ashes  
  
  
  
p.s. Disclaimer: Anything HP not mine. Everything else is mine.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	2. The Underground

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"Hey get up…come on now…"  
  
The voice sounded far away, like he had cotton in his ears while some one was trying to talk to him.  
  
"You have to get up, please? Just for a little bit ok?"  
  
'No. Not ok.' It took him a minute to realize he said that mentally and not verbally.  
  
"Nmmmph, Nahkohkay"  
  
'There, see? Talking isn't that hard.'  
  
"What? I don't have time for your games. You need to be awake! Goddess, I wish you had a concussion…"  
  
Well, that wasn't very nice.   
  
And he decided to tell this bodiless voice so.  
  
"Arw you awayz thif mean?" The pillow that his head was buried in muffled his words, but he thought she got his message any way. And she had.  
  
"Mean?! You are so ungrateful you know that? Wake your lazy arse up /now/ or I'll pour this soup on you, are you listening?"  
  
"No….I don't think I am right now…" He'd turned his head to the side no longer speaking into the pillow but trying to direct his comment at this godforsaken voice.  
  
He felt hands on his shoulders then a more gentle voice, or was it the same one only not in an angry tone? "Alright, I know your awake now. You need to get up and at least drink something ok? Just a little something, and then you can go back to sleep. I promise."  
  
For some reason these hands made him relax a bit. He sighed heavily and tried to open his eyes. They felt like they were glued shut but he managed.   
  
Every thing was blurry, and his eyes watered. He reached up to rub his eyes, and kind of huddled on his pillow. Yawning he asked, "Where am I?"  
  
"Hogwarts." Was the reply.  
  
He may feel half-dead but sarcasm was still in his system, 'Oh yes, Hogwarts. Now why didn't I think of that?' "I meant where the bloody hell did you move me."   
  
Now that he was more awake he had a chance to analyze the voice. Female, younger, and quiet…  
He couldn't open his eyes yet though, he tried and thought he was going to go blind.  
  
With out waiting for an answer, or maybe he just didn't hear her, he asked, "Can you draw the drapes? It's to damn bright in here."  
  
He heard a girlish giggle, "It's the middle of the night, I don't think it would make a difference."  
  
'God how long was I out for…?'  
  
"Here I'll make the wick smaller." Obviously she was referring to an oil lamp, that must have been where the light was coming from.  
  
He mumbled a "thanks" then rolled over on his back. As she sat down next to him he felt the bed give way under her weight, but still didn't care enough to comment.  
  
"Come on, just sit up."  
  
"Mmmm hmmm." He mumbled. Draco was extremely glad he tried this new stuff on the weekend…if he had classes he would have been in more trouble than even he's used to.  
  
"Only for a minute. Just over a bit." He tried, and she propped pillows up behind him. This new position was a bit better. He tried opening his eyes again. The room was extremely dim but he could still make out a few things. Like to his left was a door which looked like it led to the lavatory, there was a fireplace directly in front of the bed, to it's right where the corner of the room should be stood a door instead. On the wall to his right there was a very large window with a window seat, and a small table in front of it. On the table sat the oil lamp.   
  
Draco was taking all of this in. Then his eyes landed on her. She was very small for her age, almost elfish. He thought she was at least 2 years younger than he was. Her hair looked very straight, although it was hard to tell as it was put up in a ponytail. And the room was so dark her eyes looked almost black.  
  
"You alright now?"  
  
Draco started to nod his head, then the floor began to move. Whoa, not a good idea. He settled for a "I'm fine." His voice sounded harsh, and his throat felt scratchy.  
  
"Here I brought you something." she walked over to the small table. He'd missed something in his earlier observations, a small bowl and a spoon lay next to the lamp. "I didn't know if you'd still be here…but I thought I'd check any way."  
  
When she brought the bowl to him he saw it wasn't really anything…just broth. He sneered slightly. "Planning on starving me?"  
  
Ginny was a good person, but sometimes she just got plain annoyed with assholes that don't give a damn. She'd put up with his chauvinistic attitude and over-all rudeness but enough as enough.  
  
"You know when I said I'd pour this on you? I /wasn't/ joking. So why don't you just shut up and eat it." After a beat of silence she sighed, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say that."  
  
He just held out his hand for the bowl, which as soon as she handed it to him he almost dropped. "Here." she blew on it and lifted a spoonful to his lips.  
  
He took a sip. 'Gross…there's no real flavor.' It was like she could tell what he was thinking "Don't complain, your stomach won't be able to handle anything solid for a while. This is probably the only thing you can keep down."  
  
A few more spoonfuls and he didn't like playing the role of 'helpless child here, please feed me.'   
  
Then after burning himself several times Ginny gave up and refused to give him anything at all if he insisted on getting hurt.   
  
A warming spell was placed on the bowl to keep the soup hot. She had to stop feeding him every once and a while, only giving him a bit at a time. She'd done this with Ron once during the summer, and knew exactly what to do.  
  
He mostly slept, then when he was awake she would give him some soup or water, she needed to at least keep him hydrated. It was Friday night when she found him and it was now Sunday evening, and Ginny was extremely glad they had no classes on Monday.  
  
He'd finally gotten up to take a shower, and when he came back he found her sitting on the window seat doing homework.  
  
Draco leaned against the doorframe. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
Virginia jumped, she hadn't heard him come into the room, "Doing what?"  
  
He walked over to lean against the bedpost. Leaning seemed to be the next best thing to standing, as he couldn't stand real well at the moment. "/This/, helping me. You've done so much…what do you want?"  
  
"Nothing. You needed my help-"  
  
"I don't need any ones help little girl."  
  
Ginny sat her book down. "I see." Then she began to gather her books and parchment.  
  
"Where are you going?" He seemed to be confused now.  
  
She looked up "Well, you don't need my help and I have a charms essay due Tuesday. It would be completed much faster if you weren't hanging about, wasting my time."  
  
"I do not hang about!" he raised his voice slightly.  
  
But she was ignoring him mostly. When she'd gathered all of her stuff she walked over to him and handed him a vial from her pocket.   
  
"Don't eat anything but a bit of broth for a little while, at least until dinner time tomorrow, and not to much all at once. Then take this potion" Draco looked at the bluish, metallic liquid "Drink a lot of water, and when you can eat something don't eat anything to rich, like chocolate."  
  
Draco snorted slightly, giving a sarcastic answer, "Yeah, sure, I'll just have to ignore those damn chocolate cravings."  
  
Ginny sighed "What ever you say Draco." and turned around to leave, but not before giving him one last comment.  
  
"You know…that drug you took was to powerful in the amount you had…just remember there's not always going to be some one around to save your ass, and even if there was I doubt they'd care enough to keep silent."   
  
She shut the door quietly.  
  
'Who needs that little brat any way? It's probably past her bedtime' Draco smirked at his own private joke, then looked around the room, his smirk fell. 'Alone again…wasn't this how all this started in the first place?'  
  
He laid down on the bed, wondering when he was going to find his way back to the Slytherin dungeon…or better yet, the club so he can a few more 'supplies'. Ah but he could take something now, it wouldn't be as strong but it would get him to sleep after a small…detour.   
  
~ "Don't eat anything…" ~ The girls voice rang in his ears. 'Well…obviously she meant food. And this is /medication/, not food.' Draco smirked as if he was outwitting her in some way.  
  
'Where's that shirt?' So he was a bit edgy about the shirt, he had about 30 more just like it, but it wasn't the shirt he was worried about. It was what's in the shirt that counts. He walked over to the chair, grabbed the shirt and sat down. Trying to focus and see in the light he ran his hand over the hem. When he felt a small bump, he breathed a sigh of relief, she hadn't found them, or at least hadn't taken them. He ripped the thread and out fell two small pills he always carried with him, incase he had a craving and couldn't get to his kit.  
  
'Perfect.' they weren't /to/ strong, but they would get the job done.  
  
He got up and went to the small table by the window, he took the pills and drank some ice water the girl had brought him at one point or another. Taking his water he went over to the bed, set it down, and collapsed on top of the blankets. Draco just barely made it under the covers before the pills started to work.  
  
  
It didn't occur to him until he'd almost drifted off to sleep, but the thought did cross his mind.  
  
'How did she know my name…?'  
  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
It wasn't a very long walk back to Gryfondor Tower, but it seemed to take forever. She was thinking about him, him and how he could be so selfish. If she hadn't of been there who knows who could have found him!  
  
And why was she getting so worked up over this?   
  
Oh yeah, because she knew he needed help, and allot of it.   
  
The drug he'd been using was a drug made by wizards but for every one, made by her brothers to be precise…but very expensive and extremely powerful. If it weren't for that potion she'd given him and a few advanced spells she'd cast while he was sleeping, he'd probably be down for a few more days.  
  
Who the hell would be carrying that in a school? Well…obviously they had buyers…but if they sell it to the wrong people some one's bound to screw up.   
  
'I wonder if he goes to The Underground. Yes that would be the perfect place to buy something like that.'  
  
The Underground was what most would call a drug club, because that's exactly what it is. It's been in Hogwarts forever. The secret of its existence only being past down to those trusted. Yes, some teachers knew of it…and some didn't. It was the same with the prefects, as most when hearing a bit of music cast a silencing spell and then walk away like there was nothing to be concerned about. Even if they wanted to tell that would mean when they were on their brake they'd have no where to go.   
  
It's always been around and probably always will be. That's just how things were. And how did Ginny know about it? Harry and Ron of course. Fred and George always experimented with new ideas on how to get high, and Harry and Ron were always willing to 'help them out' by trying their products. Once they were hooked on it though the only place they could get it in school was this club.   
  
Mum always thought the twins were working on jokes.   
  
Those fake wands? Unscrew the handle and a life saving fine white powder would have fallen out. Equipped with a small pocket mirror and straw, only the best for their customers.   
  
Although they were dealers no one really knew as they operated a complicated system of employees that work about the school. A precaution, so some blundering idiot didn't walk right up to them asking for some cid.   
  
And they did have their morals, like no selling to children, or no hooking people with free samples and then tell them they have to start buying if they want to appease that burning hunger in their bodies. A very honest and profitable business they run. Mother is so proud that their *cough* joke shop *cough* is so popular.   
  
She'd been there once, to The Underground. Hermione was going crazy looking for Ron. He hadn't actually expected her to wait up for him when he said he was going to get a book. Ginny went to warn him, and tell him to get his arse back up to Gryfondor tower quickly, and hopefully he knew a charm to cover up red eyes.  
  
She'd slipped out of the girls dormitories, and made her way to the dungeons. Well, where were you expecting it to be? In one of the towers? Any ways, the entrance is down a long narrow corridor at what looks to be a dead end, with a window. To get in you need a ring, silver with certain designs on it (hers was black vines). To be a member you only really need two things: some one who trusts you who's already in, and money. Ron bought her a ring incase she ever needed to find him. Ginny sighed, boy did she ever love her brother. So tapping a specific stone with her ring the wall slid open and there appeared a door. She'd never been in there before, and didn't know what to expect. Little did she know she'd later become quite acquainted with the place.  
  
At first it was a lot to take in, every one was moving- dancing, walking, and making out on sofas. Then there were corners you couldn't see in because of all the smoke from cigarettes, or what she later learned, what /looked/ like cigarettes. And then there were other dark corners that she'd prefer not to look into, like the ones occupied with people who didn't mind having sex in public.  
  
She walked down the circular steps from the doorway looking for her brother and also tried to observe what was going on. Across from the door was a stage, currently occupied by some screaming chic and her guitar. She didn't recognize the music, only that it was loud. In front if the stage there was a place where the floor was covered in wood, not stone like the rest of the room. That's where people were dancing. On the wall to her left there was a bar, willing to serve you anything from liquor to poison. To her right there was an entire wall of doors accented by scantly clad females showing off more than what was covered, she had no idea where they led to, but by the looks of it they were probably bedrooms, Gin raised an eyebrow at this. And all around the room there clusters of sofas and chairs with tables in the middle of them.  
  
She spotted Ron in one of the chairs off to the left side of the room, laughing at something Dean had said. But before she could get there some one stepped in front of her.  
  
"Hello there little Weasel." She looked up to find a sneering blonde boy. He looked amused, which normally wouldn't bother her…but his body language said he wanted something more than just to say hi.  
  
"Um…hello…"  
  
He'd stood up from a cluster of chairs, which were now becoming emptier as his friends came to stand behind him.   
  
"What's she doing here, using or not?" That was somebody behind him.  
  
He turned his head, "Damned if I know." Then turned back to her and grabbed her arm, roughly lifting up her blouse sleeve, as she wasn't wearing a robe. He ran his hand over the inside of her elbow, and then did the same thing with her other arm, though this time he didn't let go. She didn't like this situation at all.  
  
He turned back to, who she assumed was, the one who asked him the question, "She's clean."  
  
Virginia had no idea what was going on, clean? What was that? She looked at the other boys, maybe they would give her a hint, but her attention was brought back to the blonde when he asked her a question.  
  
Grinning slightly he said, "Care to play a game?"  
  
  
  
  
  
Back in the present Ginny shivered slightly remember what had happened. She was scared out of her wits by the look in his eyes. But Ron had come over, having seen her, and demanded to know what the hell was happening. Well it almost turned out to be a full-blown brawl, but she managed to drag her brother out of there with a warning about Hermione. When they'd gotten back, Ron had gone through the portal with an excuse like "I went down to the kitchens, no worries." While she'd climbed back in bed. Yes, all in all it had been an eventful evening.   
  
While lost in thought her feet had automatically carried her to the exact same portal she was just thinking about.   
  
'Cool, kind of like auto-pilot' hey, muggle studies weren't totally useless.  
  
She climbed in, walked through Gryfondor common room, and went to find Hermione. She needed help with her homework, and hopefully it wouldn't be too late to ask. Well, with Hermione it was never really /too late/ to ask…but the later the hour, the more the lecture will be long.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N) WOOOO HOOOO! 6 pages worth, probably the most I've written in a chapter so far. Any ways this is the first time (ever) I've written in detail, it wasn't that hard surprisingly. But please tell me how I did. I know it can be a little bit…dry, but I had to put in all that history and memories at some point! Please tell e how I did, and comments/hints are appreciated. Thanks for reading  
  
-Wind and Ashes  
  
P.s. I'm sure I'm going to get some smart-ass comment either through reviewing or email (as I always do). So let me clear something up now. I don't know why parents who have gone to The Underground haven't told the headmaster about it, or tried to shut it down. *shrugs* memory charms? But my over all point is, if I am in the mood to make Draco get up walk over to Ginny and do the Latin tango with her while he sings "I'm a little tea pot…" it shall be so! Why? Because I'm the writer so /there/ *sticks out tongue* 


	3. Warning

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This is a warning for the following chapters.  
  
If you read anything beyond this point you are automatically agreeing to the following terms:  
  
1) You will not hold Wind and Ashes responsible for your own stupidity.  
2) You will use common sense when reading.  
3) Even though the following chapters have descriptive drug use, information on drugs, ways of taking drugs, descriptions of drugs, and methods of making new drugs you are aware that Wind and Ashes does not support illegal drug use nor does she encourage illegal drug use  
4) If you decide to be a total dumb fuck and use drugs because Wind and Ashes has written this fiction, then you will bend over so she may kick your ass. For her intentions are of entertainment purposes only.  
5) If you run to your parents and cry about the 'bad things' Wind and Ashes has written so they E-mail or review with a parental message, or you yourself complain of the content -even though Wind and Ashes has put up respectable warnings- you agree to listen to her rant back at you with colorful language, and then you will contact her no further.  
6) You recognize the reality that the information beyond this point, whether it may contain dosage, facts, history, methods etc. of drugs and drug use is correct.  
7) You will not attempt anything to test Wind and Ashes sincerity when she says "The information beyond this point, whether it may contain dosage, facts, history, methods etc. of drugs and drug use is correct"  
8) You will not ask for drug information, drugs, a contact to receive drugs, or stories of why Wind and Ashes happens to know so much about this subject.  
9) You will review every chapter…just kidding :o)  
  
  
If you think you will be permanently damaged by promiscuous sex or description of drug use, do not read any further.  
  
Please place plastic wrap over your computer screen and sign your name on the dotted line to willfully agree to terms.  
  
  
  
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Thank you  
  
-Wind and Ashes  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	4. An Interesting Potions Class

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Drug Key (there will be one of these lists at every chapter using 'drug slang')  
  
X = ecstasy, MDMA  
  
Nit = Nitrous, Hippie Crack  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tuesday morning he was back to normal, as normal as he could get any way. He could even eat chocolate if he wanted to, the corner of his mouth curled up slightly in a half smile at the thought. That girl had been on his mind ever since she left him. He'd expected her to come back and see him again like she'd done the first time, but she never came, to his disappointment.  
  
  
  
But what was the use, he wasn't even hungry for the damn food. Draco was 'artistically' making a face out of his uneaten breakfast.  
  
  
  
"Why Draco that's so…very…life like."   
  
  
  
"Oh shut up."  
  
  
  
Cassy gave a high pitched laugh. Draco winced slightly.  
  
  
  
She sat down next to him wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "We haven't seen you all weekend baby, were have you been?"  
  
  
  
"Around." He answered coolly. He didn't have any patience for her right now, nor was he in the mood.  
  
  
  
She tried to make her voice more seductive while running her hand up and down his back, "I missed you last night…"   
  
  
  
Draco tied not to growl at her, and kept his manners in check while shrugging off the unwanted attention. "If you'll excuse me I have classes to get to."  
  
  
  
"But, classes don't start for another half hour."  
  
  
  
He was already standing, looking down at her, "So?"  
  
  
  
Leaving the great hall he supposed he could just wander around for a while, there wasn't really anything to occupy his time and it was to close to class time to get drunk or high. Yes, wandering would have to do. He was about to set off on a solitary walk when he heard some one call his name.  
  
  
  
He turned around to yell at who ever it was but stopped him self as he saw Greg jog up to him. He gave a slight smile, Draco too gave a slight smile. No greeting necessary, he's known Greg since they were in diapers. Was one of his first drug partners. And probably would always be around.  
  
  
  
"You carrying anything?" his friend asked quietly.  
  
  
  
Draco replied in the same hushed tone, "No, not yet. I need to stop by the club, probably will later on tonight. But I used what I had last weekend."  
  
  
  
"I got something new, come on we have time." Draco was about to protest but Goyle beat him to it, "Besides it's potions next, we won't even have to pay attention."  
  
  
  
"Yeah, what is it?"  
  
  
  
"It's called Nit. I got it last night from Brandon. My arms were sore from all those muscle shots, so I asked for some X, but he was out and I didn't have my own. So he gave me these instead" Gregory reached into his robe pocket with his right hand and brought out what looked like little metal vials, although the ends were closed off and had little knobs. Draco thought they looked like little scuba gear tanks. He held about 7 in his hand, and had more in his pocket.  
  
  
  
"He even let me borrow equipment for it."  
  
  
  
"Equipment?" Draco raised and eyebrow, " What do you have to do exactly?"  
  
  
  
"Just inhale. Come on I'll show you." The two friends walked to an empty classroom near the potions lab. Draco sat on a desk, childishly swinging his legs waiting to see what this new find was.   
  
  
  
Greg placed all the little metal vials on the desk next to him, they started to roll around so Draco helped steady them. First he pulled two pieces of metal out of his left pocket. They were very small, hollow, and looked to be pieces you would find on some type of machine. He supposed they both screwed together because there was rings on one of them and the other looked slightly larger so it could slip over the rings and be secured. The piece with the rings opposite end was flared slightly, and the other piece looked like a plain cylinder although one end was closed off and only had a very small hole.  
  
  
  
And something else unrecognizable came from his pocket.  
  
  
  
"What's that?" Draco had never seen any of this before, but that one thing puzzled him. He picked it up and it felt like rubber, 'Odd, is it some kind of a toy?' He thought.  
  
  
  
"It's a balloon, only muggles have them."  
  
  
  
He dropped it immediately, "/Muggles/? Is this a /muggle/ drug?"   
  
  
  
Goyle knew he hated anything to do with muggles, but then again he never heard him complain when he was shooting up with their drugs.  
  
  
  
"Trust me, just try it and you'll love it." He laughed a bit at his own joke, of course he would love it, it's extremely addictive. "Watch, so you know how to do it. I can't be cracking these open for you."  
  
  
  
Draco watched attentively.  
  
  
  
He took one of the little metal vials and put the knobbed end in the cylinder half of the flared piece of metal. And he was right in his assumptions, they did screw together over the vials to make one piece. Next he picked up the balloon, and there was a reason for the flared end, as the balloons opening attached onto it. The one end was flared so the muggle plastic would stay put.  
  
  
  
"This little vial will get you about 3 lungs worth, but the high doesn't last long, so I spelled them. New and improved for your druggie pleasure." He gave him a wide toothy grin.  
  
  
  
"Ha ha, very funny."  
  
  
  
"Just remember to breathe between hits, ok?"  
  
  
  
"Got it."  
  
  
  
It only took the drug a few seconds to work unlike the others, which you either have to ingest or wait till it gets into your system. But this…was different. Nothing was quite like this. First he started to feel numb in patches of his body, but his mind was on a bit of a psychedelic trip, and he didn't know where he was, let alone why he couldn't feel his right arm. For a few minutes he just sat there poking himself thinking 'aren't I suppose to feel something?' and 'Is my body numb? Or is it just my finger that's numb…?'  
  
  
  
The class bell rang, and some where in the back of his mind he knew they were late for class. But then he felt another patch of flesh going numb, and he was still trying to figure out these damned numb spots, and if he couldn't feel them because it was just his fingers that were numb. Draco thought a minute. Make that, his hand that was numb. He began to poke his thigh.   
  
  
  
Some how they both made it to class a little while later.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Harry Potter sat in the last seat on the end of the potions table, next to Ron, copying down ingredients from the age-old chalkboard. But he was interrupted 20 minutes into class by Draco Malfoy and Gregory Goyle stumbling into the room, literally. Snape of course ignored them, only looking up to see whom it was, then going back to his book.   
  
  
  
'Damned Slytherins.'  
  
  
  
But something was up, he wasn't kidding when he said stumbling into class. So far they both had tripped once or twice on their way to their seats, and started giggling. Giggling, now there was something wrong with that in its self. Harry stopped his schoolwork to observe this odd happening. Yes it seemed Malfoy was leaning slightly on Goyle, as if he couldn't keep balance. They both fell into their seats with a thud, resulting in more giggling.   
  
  
  
'What the fuck is wrong with them?'   
  
  
  
He went back to his work, hoping no one saw him starring, although who could blame him? But not even 5 minutes later he heard Draco snickering, or at least trying not to laugh. Goyle too could be heard. He looked up again, and what he saw made him blink, several times in fact.   
  
  
  
Draco Malfoy was hunched over the table like he was protecting his right arm. And every few seconds he would poke his forearm and try not to laugh, key word being 'try'. Goyle also found this to amusing, laughing also. After a moment they both obviously couldn't contain them selves any more and stated laughing uncontrollably.  
  
  
  
At this point even Snape was starring at them. They, some how, were oblivious to the entire class.   
  
  
  
"Mr.Malfoy! You will stop your laughter immediately!" Harry figured Snape though if Draco stopped laughing so would his shadow Goyle. But they didn't. Snape yelled for a few more minutes, but this only made them laugh harder, now pointing at him. He swore he heard the words "grease ball" amongst the laughter.   
  
  
  
"THAT IS IT! GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM THIS INSTANT!" He scribbled something across some pieces of paper, and handed them both a note before saying, "Go straight to the infirmary. GO! NOW!"  
  
  
  
And they did.  
  
  
  
Grabbing their bags, they both stumbled out of the classroom, wiping away at tears from laughing so. They could still be heard down the hall so Snape rushed to the door and slammed it shut then calmly walked back to his desk. Most the class had grins on their faces right about now, it was a rare scene indeed. Ron let out a small, barely audible, chuckle under his breath.   
  
  
  
"Weasley! 20 points from Gryffondor, and detention tonight! For disrupting my class!"  
  
  
  
'Fuck'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
*   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Ginny loved working at her new job. Her family wasn't /that/ poor really, I mean they've always had food on the table and the Weasley children always attended Hogwarts. But she never had any pocket money for little things a girl her age would want. Her responsibilities were to run the infirmary while Madame P. was out. Signing in and out students, getting simple remedies for the less severe cases, and assigning beds. It was actually quiet most of the time, and a way to make easy money, as she loved helping out.  
  
  
  
Right now she was arranging various bottles in the medicine cabinet. Most of the labels weren't even written in English, so this also helped her brush up on her Latin. Lifting the brown glass bottles over her head she slowly slid each one in its appropriate place.  
  
  
  
She was about to close the cabinet doors when she heard something in one of the other rooms' crash. Then another item broke this time sounding like glass.   
  
  
  
"What on earth…?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N): sorry for this not being very long, only 4 pages. But I don't know...it seemed diffrent. The other chapters i felt flowed...but this one just /wouldn't/! grrrr...  
  
Make me happy please, and review.   
  
  
  
-Wind and Ashes  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	5. The Kiss

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Drug Key  
Cocaine: Coke, Snow, Dust, White Lady (I am not referring to freebase cocaine)  
Heroin: dope, junk, smack  
Pill Popping: just taking various pills because you are addicted to them, can be and most often is painkillers, but in Draco's case it was just a "handful of pretty colors"  
Ecstasy: X, MDMA  
  
Stone Key  
Moss Agate: Ginny uses a Moss Agate as a healing stone. While it can be used for other things this is the healing stone I use, and know how to use best. *shrugs* I write what I know, so any Witchy or New Age people out there planning on telling me I'm using the wrong stone, kindly piss off :o) as I do know what I'm talking about.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She was about to close the cabinet doors when she heard something in one of the other rooms' crash. Then another item broke this time sounding like glass.   
  
"What on earth…?"  
  
Ginny hurried through the back room to get to the main part of the infirmary.  
  
'Oh I hope no one is hurt!'  
  
Her mind filled with Quiditch players with broken bones, or some small Hufflepuff that had fallen down the stairs…oh how surprised she was when she found Draco Malfoy sitting on the floor near a medicine cabinet, rocking back and forth slightly.   
  
She slowed immediately, and let out a breath. He was probably here to drop something off for Snape. It did strike her as odd though that he would be sitting on the floor, but dismissed it. It wasn't until she saw a puddle of blood around him that she started to panic again.   
  
She ran toward him, and kneeled down. "Draco? Draco what's happened? Can you hear me?" she put a hand to the side of his face, and noticed it felt like he had a fever. He still hadn't looked at her, or acknowledged her presence in some way.   
  
All of the blood was coming from a large gash in his left hand. So much blood. She had to stop the bleeding before anything else, she could find out what asinine thing he'd done later.  
  
Jumping up she went to get a few supplies she would need. A moss agate the size of her palm, and a healing salve for starters, along with some gauze.  
  
She knelt back down, "Draco I'm going to stop your bleeding ok?" quickly grabbing a near by towel she set it down on the small puddle of blood and set to work. First stopping the bleeding and partially healing it with her wand she'd taken out from her pocket. Then rubbing the salve over the opening, careful not to cause him too much pain, though she wasn't sure he could even feel it at any point. Finally she wrapped the gauze around his hand, tying off the end. While she was raising energy and focussing it on the wound she thought she heard him say something.  
  
"I didn't mean to." He said quietly.  
  
Virginia looked up. He wasn't looking at her, but at his hand, he'd been watching her work.   
  
"What?" she asked. She wasn't sure she heard him correctly. His voice had been so low, so soft. Had he said anything at all?  
  
"I didn't mean to do it…" this time he looked her in the eye, still speaking soft as a child's voice. His eyes were wide and his pupils dilated, in a way he looked a bit scared. "I just wanted…I wanted to look at something…but the glass was in my way…"  
  
"It's all right Draco, don't worry about the glass." Her voice sounded like a primary school teacher's, but the only thing on her mind was that she needed to get him to a bed and find out what the hell he'd taken /this/ time. She absentmindedly ran her hands through his hair, trying to give him some kind of comfort. He leaned into her touch. "Can you stand up?"   
  
It took her a full ten to fifteen minutes to get him over to the nearest bed, all the while she prayed to Goddess that Madame Pomfrey didn't walk in any time soon. She didn't though, luck was obviously on her side…for now any way.  
  
She put a separating screen up around his bed so no one would see him. Then tried to get his attention, she needed to know what he'd taken and soon. The last thing she really wanted for him was to call a Professor to deal with this.   
  
He was kind of starring off into space eyes still dilated, she put a hand on his shoulder "Draco, what did you take. I need to know what you took…do you remember? Look at me for a minute." She moved his head so he could see her. For a moment it was like he was looking through her, she might as well of not been there. But then his eyes focussed.  
  
He smiled a small smile and put a hand to her face too, like it was a game. She was touching him so he's touching her.   
  
She dropped her hand. So did he.   
  
She stopped smiling. So did he.  
  
"Draco, do you know where you are?"  
  
He didn't say anything.  
  
"You're in the infirmary, you're still at Hogwatrs, ok? Do you know why you're here?"  
  
It looked as if he was going to ignore this question like he did the last one. But he reached into his pocket and handed her a slightly crumpled piece of paper.  
  
  
  
It read:  
-----------------------------------------------  
  
Poppy,  
  
Mr.Malfoy is not feeling well. He's had the misfortune of inhaling something in potions class. If you could please give him a spare bed to lay down and rest in for a few hours, I would be extremely grateful. Do not ask him any questions, or give him any remedies, the best thing to do is to let him sleep it off. Do not let him leave the infirmary, and I will come around later to check on him.  
  
Thank you,  
  
Severous  
  
  
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Well that was a load of bollox if she's ever heard it. Though it didn't surprise her that Snape was in on it and helping to cover up what Draco does, periodically it seemed to her. This was turning out to be more of a problem than she'd expected. How long has he been going on like this, with the money he has, and teachers willingly writing him notes…she didn't want to think of the long term effects that probably had already started.   
  
Draco was still starring at her, but the manor in which he looked was…endearing. But in a way like a small child looking up at a sweet shop through a glass window, and no money to buy anything.   
  
His eyes were so beautiful, and she felt lost for a moment. But her adrenaline from earlier had yet to run out, she couldn't relax until she knew what had happened.  
  
"Draco if you don't tell me what you took I'm going to have to get a professor because I don't think I can handle this. /Please/ tell me." He wasn't even paying attention, instead he was trying to pull the bandage off his hand.  
  
"When did you put this on? Why is it there?" he asked. She almost slapped him. And /this/ is why she dreaded having children…  
  
"You cut your hand, I bandaged it for you. Don't pick at it," she lightly slapped his uninjured hand "It might break open again if you do, and it was really deep. Just let it heal."  
  
He continued to pick at the gauze.   
  
Ginny sighed in frustration then slapped her hands down on the bed, the sudden movement seemed to frighten him more than anything. He jumped a little, then glared at being disturbed from his 'mission' of getting the bandage off of his hand as he was sure there was nothing wrong with him and she was just over reacting.   
  
"You know what? You can just sit here, and wait because I'm going to go get Madame Pomfrey right now so she can deal with your stupid ass before you decide to be comatose." She turned to leave.  
  
"Wait!" he yelled, then winced at the volume of his voice. "What do you want to know?" He sat up now crossing his legs, hands folded and looking very disheveled.   
  
She walked back over to him and sat down on the bed next to him. "I need to know what you've taken in the last twenty-four hours."  
  
"…Do you need all twenty-four hours?"  
  
She almost laughed, then she found that he was serious. "Ok, what did you take this morning?"  
  
There was a long moment of silence. "Nit, I think was the first thing I took."  
  
"Nit? I've never heard of that before, what are its nicknames maybe I can match it with something."  
  
"I went to the club after, you know about the underground." He looked up at her, like he recognized her all of a sudden "You were there once, I remember."  
  
Ginny raised her eyebrows, that was a bit of a sudden thought. He can't remember the last twenty-four hours yet he can remember her face from a few years ago. Interesting.  
  
"What about the club?"  
  
"I…uh…Brandon wanted to give me some more nit, I think he called it Nitrous."  
  
'/Nitrous/, he doesn't have the symptoms of nitrous, if he'd taken it he'd probably be laughing his ass off right now, not this lost expression. He probably took something else. But this is good for now.' She quickly wrote down 'nitrous' on the little clipboard.   
  
"And…" she prompted.  
  
"And…" he mimicked, although not on purpose "I was there but I didn't want any. I wanted a double instead."  
  
"A double? Tell me what that is, please hurry Draco."  
  
"A double is a White Lady, and some smack."  
  
'Jesus, he took coke AND heroin' dutifully she wrote it down and then rolled back one of the sleeves of his shirt. She had a feeling of déjà vu, but ignored it. Just as she'd suspected there were needle marks in his arm, not just one or two…but she could tell he'd been using for a while. Healing spells could prevent dead veins, but after a while, even those won't help you. Fortunately for Draco his arms didn't look that bad…yet.   
  
"And then there was the girl." he added almost as an after thought.  
  
"The girl? What girl?"  
  
Draco had a bit of a grin on his face. "The one who said if I'd shag her she'd give me those pills."  
  
Now this was just down right alarming. "Draco, what pills." Her voice was full of panic, if she'd waited to long to get it out of his system, and not contacted a teacher….this wasn't turning out to be good.  
  
"Draco, WHAT pills?!"   
  
"I…don't remember. I asked for some before we did it, then she gave me the rest after, I don't remember what kind. I only remember a handful of pretty colors, yeah, they were very pretty being different colors and all."  
  
'Damn it all, the one part that could kill him and he can't remember…'  
  
"Was there any ecstasy in those pills? Try and remember." She could do a damn good job with the information she had already, but this last fact was important.  
  
"No, no X. She's a crack whore, can't afford it." He chuckled a bit at something he was thinking.  
  
Ginny bit the inside of her cheek as to not comment on his choice of bedmates, then rushed out of the enclosed space to set to work. When she came back she was laden down with potions upon potions.   
  
Setting up everything on a near by medical table she asked, "Is there anything you want before I give you your medication? You're going to be pretty tired so you might as well ask now."  
  
He nodded slowly, his eyes watching her closely.   
  
"What is it?"   
  
He motioned her to come closer.  
  
She took a step forward.  
  
"I'm not going to bite, come here." His eyes which usually reminded her of a brewing storm were extremely dark, almost a charcoal gray.   
  
She stood next to him and he reached up putting a hand behind her neck and pulled her down slowly. 'Oh he just wants to whisper something to me.' Well that's what she thought until he moved his head the rest of the way and kissed her.   
  
First he barely touched her lips, only brushing softly against them. But that was all that was needed. It felt like her senses had been awakened. His tongue pushed gently against her lips, wanting entrance, and biting tenderly on her bottom lip. She didn't need anymore motivation than that so she opened her mouth to him it was then indescribable and the kiss grew deeper. With this new contact it felt like electricity went through her veins. Ginny shivered, but she had closed her eyes tighter, running her hands through his hair. If this was kissing she had /no/ idea what the hell she'd been doing with Collin. Heat was building in her, it was as if this kiss was radiating energy. She was in his arms now, one hand in her hair the other…some where else. Her back arched against him.  
  
Slowly she pulled away breathless, and he groaned at the loss of contact. They both sat on the bed just looking at each other, getting their breathing under control. Then Draco promptly leaned over and…threw up on the floor.  
  
'I didn't think I was that bad of a kisser…'  
  
But she knew better. One of the effects heroin, it could make you vomit, and he's probably going to have a splitting headache later on. She was just thankful she pulled away first.  
  
After she'd gotten his mess cleaned up she came back to see him sleeping.   
  
'He's almost cute when he's sleeping…I wonder what happens to him between then and when he's awake…'  
  
Well she had to wake him up any way, so she did. Then handed him potion after potion. One for his stomach so all these pills and potions didn't eat through his stomach wall. Casting spells, advanced and little charms. Another potion to detoxify him to some degree, and another. One for his head ache and to stop the nausea…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N): Just to clear some things up, at this point Draco barely knows where he is let alone who she is, this part is important. Why did he kiss her then? Because his combinations of drugs, it can kind of make a guy horny, lol. Hey, it's true, trust me on this one…any ways pretty soon I'll gt tired of making Draco sick beyond reason and that's when you'll get some fluffy D/G action k?   
  
-Wind and Ashes 


	6. Revelation

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He'd been sleeping for a while now, and Ginny was at his bedside for almost the entire time. She had given him potions for medication, but then thought better of it. What hasn't he ingested? His stomach probably couldn't take much more. So for everything else beyond that thought she performed spells to heal him, and placed her healing stone amongst a few clear quartz crystals around him on the bed to help detoxify his body. He'd fallen asleep almost right away from exhaustion.  
  
And Virginia, some how, convinced Madame Pomfrey to leave him alone. Writing up on his chart 'had a slight headache, needs to rest' and showing the note Snape had written for her, she'd left him be. Gin did have to get to her classes, after all her volunteering time was only for one free class hour. Though she did come back between classes to check up on him and see if he was awake yet. Every time he was still asleep.  
  
When class time was over Ginny went straight to the infirmary to volunteer to stay late. Madame Pomfrey wasn't to keen on the idea and didn't need the extra help but Gin stretched the truth a bit and said she'd promised Draco she would be here with him all through the night. Frowning at having a visitor after visiting hours she hesitantly agreed, but since she'd trusted Ginny with more important things, couldn't see the harm in it if it was just one night. And seemed to also over look the odd pairing with out comment.   
  
Right now it was 5:30 and a supper tray had been brought up for both of them, but Ginny waved his away. He wouldn't be hungry, nor would she feed him if he were.  
  
She did have novels on hand she'd stashed away earlier for those slow hours of the morning, but mostly she just sat in her chair next to Dracos bed and thought.   
  
'Why would he do this? How many times has it happened? Doesn't his family know? How could some one over look something as obvious as this?!'  
  
As more questions came to her she began to get angry. 'Why hadn't some one done something?!' And decided she was going to ask him as soon as he woke up, because the situation didn't make sense to her at all. 'He has everything! The individual attention of his parents, money, friends, girls who want to go on dates with him.' In her mind she couldn't find one reason for his wanting to take so many drugs. Sure, people go through rough times, but that's no reason to loose touch with reality completely, or even on occasion for that matter.   
  
Though at the same time it intrigued her. 'What was it like? The high, the buzz you could feel, the things you could see…'   
  
She'd never used any kind of drug before, not even touching coffee. And lately Ron hasn't been going to the club much at all. Instead he'd been slowly replacing his addiction with a new 'drug' by the name of Hermione, so he wouldn't be as excited to hear of her new fascination. Another option would be to ask Harry, but she couldn't do that either. Not only was he becoming more stressed with the new threats of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, but also he might tell Ron her questions.  
  
Even yesterday, and during class today, Ginny caught herself thinking of what it must be like. And about how she could have used this kind of an escape back in her first year. Whether it be instead of the diary, or because of the diary, it didn't matter. Anything would have been nice.  
  
Her first year wasn't exactly the most enjoyable, and after having missed out on the opportunity of making friends she was unfortunately stuck in that same state. Friendless. Not even Tom could be with her now. On occasion she did think about him, missed him, maybe even wished him back. But knew it wouldn't help anything. She'd still be friendless, she's only had the joyous company of a 'talking' book.   
  
And it was still like that, Virginia Weasley not having any friends or even someone to associate with besides Collin. She'd gone up into one of the astronomy towers that night because the other girls were having a party. Lavender, a girl one year older than her in seventh year, asked if she could maybe sleep in the common room for one night "Girl stuff, you understand…"  
  
Ginny looked over to Draco, he looked at peace, like nothing in this world could touch him. And in a way nothing could. Even if it did it wouldn't matter because he had another world he could go into. An escape that he took regularly and with good faith he would be saved from that which he ran from.  
  
'Is he happy like this?' she thought. You always hear about those stories of people who've screwed up and then they look for sympathy because they were "slaves to an addiction". But weren't there any happy endings with out quitting? You never hear any of their stories, do you?   
  
Those stories get tucked away and are never spoken of.   
  
Why?   
  
Because no one wants to hear how 'evil' triumphs over 'good', how for once some one didn't overcome his or her own fear but drowned in it. It's not always a pretty picture, and people know how others don't like pictures if they aren't pretty.   
  
Maybe she /was/ looking for an escape. Maybe she /needed/ another world to lock her self in when others aren't looking.   
  
But what if she did locker her self in another world?   
  
Would she be able to get back out again?   
  
Would she want to?  
  
  
  
  
  
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	7. Why?

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"I want to know something."  
  
Draco was barely awake, let alone had a functioning brain, yet her words got through to him. Grabbing the glass of water off of the table beside his bed he took a long drink, probably determined to down the entire thing.  
  
"Don't ignore me, this is serious."   
  
No, what was serious was this bloody headache he had. "Do you have anything I can take? My head is killing me."  
  
Virginia held out 2 little white pills in front of him, he grabbed for them but came back with nothing. 'Hmmm, maybe I'm not awake as I thought.' But then realised that she'd purposely moved her hand at the last minute.  
  
Draco scowled at her. She acted like she hadn't noticed his foul mood. "I'll give you these aspirins if you answer my questions, deal?"  
  
"/Fine/, just give me the damn pills." She reluctantly handed over the aspirin. He took them with the rest of his water, then he laid back down shutting his eyes tight.  
  
There were a few minutes of silence. "I want to know something." She repeated.  
  
Draco opened one eye, "Apparently you do, or is it just normal for you to repeat your self randomly?"  
  
Yes, he was doing much better. "Are you aware you could have died if you weren't taken care of?" she asked calmly. Now both of his eyes were open, and instantly narrowed at the mention of /him/ being "taken care of".   
  
"I wouldn't ha-"  
  
"/Yes/, you would have. Scared me half to death, coming in here not in your right mind so to speak. Although I doubt you were when you took all of that shit either." Now she was angry. He was like a child who didn't know what was good for him, doing exactly what he was told not to just because he was told not to do it. Her mother would have called it 'biting off your nose to spite your face.'   
  
"I want to know why you're doing this. How many times has this happened?!"  
  
He looked at her with eyes as cold as ice. "I don't have to tell you a god damned thing."  
  
Ginny sat back in her chair. So he was going to play this the hard way. Well, she had six brothers, she could play this game. And she was good at it to.  
  
Always make it the worst case scenario. Always take facts from real life and bend them so they work for you. An idea was already forming in her mind, something believable, dramatic and explainable.  
  
"Alright. Don't talk. But here's what happened…" she looked at the ceiling for a moment, then looked back at him, a smile came to her lips. Draco didn't like this at all. "Yes, here's /exactly/ what happened. You came in here threatening to rape me. I resisted and you pinned me up against the medicine cabinet, you took a swing trying to get me to hold still. I ducked and you hit the glass door, that's how you cut your hand. The drugs you'd taken obviously had messed you up, and you collapsed afterward. I took care of you regardless and covered for you because I was scared. But now that I know you are ok, I still feel threatened for my life. So I'm going to go to Madame Pomfrey right now and inform her of what /really/ happened…"  
  
He couldn't believe it, he couldn't fucking believe it! "You plotting wench! You can't prove any point in your story is true!"  
  
She was still smiling, already aware that she had won. "Oh, but I can. Look at your hand and the smashed cabinet. You were so pumped full of drugs they just might kick you out any way for that. But I thought rape charges might add a /flare/ to the story." Ginny's eyes practically sparkled.  
  
"You have no proof I tried to touch you!" He knew he was loosing to. And what really bothered him is that she'd picked the one thing that he'd most definitely /not/ do to any one regardless of how much he hated them. His mother had raised him to be a gentleman, to /respect/ a woman. Body and mind alike. He may threaten a few annoying girls, but he never as much as raised a hand to them. Let alone force them into anything.   
  
"You think I can't make some evidence of my own? Right now I can bump into a few things and it'd look like you tried to kill me. I bruise /very/ easily."  
  
"You're a fucking bitch you know that?"   
  
Ginny shrugs, "First time I've been told, though I doubt any one would tell me to my face. Besides you that is."  
  
"What was your bloody question so I can get out of here and /away/ from /you/."  
  
"It's not just one question, it's several. And when we're done talking you are staying put. I have to sign you out tomorrow morning, it's only 10:30 at night."  
  
"Well then, get on with it." Draco, to say the least, was pissed off. He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to stay there, he wanted her to go /away/. Well, maybe she could stick around if she would keep her mouth shut…when it came to talking.   
  
"Why did you take all of those drugs? There had to be a reason, did you /want/ to kill yourself?"  
  
He was thinking about what seemed to be last night. He knew exactly why he'd done what he did. Although he hadn't exactly been in complete control of his actions, he did have a feeling of what it was all about.   
  
"Who are you going to tell?" He still didn't know who she was, although he did recognize her from taking care of him before. He didn't get a creepy stalker vibe from the girl, he supposed she just always happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.   
  
"No one, I just want to help, you don't know what you're doing to your body-"  
  
"I know exactly what I'm doing, that's why I do it." His words were deadpan, but some how they carried emotion that shocked her.   
  
"Why do you?"  
  
Draco sighed, this was going to be difficult. He didn't have that many people close to him, even when they were he rarely let them know any personal information about him, and the information she was asking for was beyond personal.   
  
"Your question was why did I take all those drugs. The first round…was because…I was bored. It was before classes all I was going to do was walk around any way. It would have been more than boring. But a friend gave me something to do, it just happened to be drugs." He stopped trying to think of what other stupid things he'd done earlier that day.  
  
"But what about the other drugs? It looked to me as if you wanted to overdose." Her eyes watered a bit, she really couldn't understand why he did this. It wasn't as if he was a big part of her life, or even considered a friend…but the thought of him dying in such a manner made her chest ache and a sadness just filled her.   
  
"Christ Almighty, don't bleedin cry." Draco rolled over to face her, instead of lying on his back he sat up on his elbow and looked at her. "Why are you crying?" It wasn't a gentle tone, nor did his face display compassion…it was more like 'if you cry you're going to attract a attention' and 'that act is annoying me, stop it at once'.  
  
Ginny blinked rapidly, swearing she'd kick her self if her tears flowed over. "/Nothing/. How did Snape get involved in this?" She needed to draw attention away from her self, and what better strategy to do that then to bring up something you're not suppose to know about.   
  
This caught him off guard, though he didn't show it. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Don't bullshit me Malfoy. I /know/."  
  
He let out an exasperated sigh, "Alright! The whole Slytherin House has always been a bit…wild. The Professor just happens to overlook that sort of thing."  
  
"Does he know how serious this has gotten."  
  
He looked over to her with his eyebrows drawn together, "What are you on about now? I'm not addicted, and I'm in /perfect control/."  
  
It took all of Virginia's willpower not to smirk. These were the words of true addicts. "I can control the addiction" "I can quit any time I want to" "/I'm/ in control, no one and nothing else!" But she decided not to say anything.  
  
"About yesterday…" she pressed for him to go on.  
  
"I wasn't trying to kill my self, nor do I have a wish to, alright? I…I wasn't in control of my actions totally. I'd already had a few things, and the pills just seemed like a good idea. The double, I'd had one of those before…" he looked as if he was concentrating, then looked to her with slightly pleading eyes. "..erm…did I...um take anything else by any chance?"  
  
She gave him a small smile, "No. And thank you for telling me." She could see his eyes drooping slowly with out him really noticing it. "But I still need to talk to you."  
  
"What about /now/?"   
  
"Not right this instant, tomorrow…can we meet?"  
  
"…where?" he asked suspiciously.   
  
"How about in one of the study rooms that's not in use anymore? Um…the one on the second floor right wing?"  
  
He wasn't sure exactly, "Near the transfiguration classroom?"  
  
"Yes! Exactly the one. So I'll see you there tomorrow, at noon, I'm bringing my lunch you can eat before if you like though."   
  
"That's fine."  
  
"And Draco?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Don't get high tomorrow, or I swear I'll tell a teacher, understood? Just give your body a break."  
  
Scowling he answered, "I won't go to the club tomorrow because I might not make it in time for our 'little get-together', good enough promise for you?"   
  
She smiled a bright smile, "Yes. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
When she was almost out of the room he called her back.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I don't know your name, it's been bothering me. You know my name but I don't know yours."   
  
With one last smile she said, "Virginia." And disappeared around the corner.   
  
'…Virginia…how fitting. Such a beautiful name for a beautiful girl…and it sounded so damned familular too...'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N): Yes short, I know. Next chapter will be longer, I promise. And same one said it was wierd that I added in Ginny and the whole rape thing...there's a reason for that, and it'll come up later in the story...  
  
Oh yeah...REVIEW!  
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	8. The Meeting

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He had no idea why he agreed to meet her. Well…he knew one reason he'd like to see her again, but she seemed to be of the proper sort. Not one to randomly shag guys she's just met, and who also has a drug problem. Though their meeting was a while from now he couldn't get his mind off of it…or why she'd want to speak with him again at all.   
  
Draco was sitting in transfiguration trying to concentrate on the lesson. But his mind kept wandering to other things. A black powder that could bring him back to where he wanted to be…and the girl, Virginia. He'd caught him self saying her name every minute. Literally. He had looked at his watch every time he'd noticed.   
  
'God, how dismal am I?' Next thing he knew he would be writing horrible poetry and …and…crying about how the world is filled with strife. No, that would not do at all.   
  
'Ok, think of something besides her…I really should learn this spell she has on the board, it looks important. The last thing I'm going to need is to be tutored by mudblood for my N.E.W.T's…I wonder if Virginia has to take N.E.W.T's this year…she never told me what year she was in…' Draco didn't catch him self just in time, it was to late, he'd already finished the thought.   
  
Checking his watch he'd confirmed that he had lasted a full 30 seconds with out thinking of her.  
  
"Damn it!" he hit his desk.  
  
"Mr.Malfoy! Do you feel it necessary to interrupt my class? Surely this isn't too hard for you?" she became even more annoyed with his lack of response. "1 point from Slytherin."  
  
"Sorry Professor." He mumbled. No one dared glare at him for his loss of house points, he'd just get them back in potions tomorrow morning.  
  
He felt a nudge at his knee under the desk and looked down. A hand held 1 pill. It was extremely small, had a reddish tint and a very simple flame design on it. 'Blaise' he thought, 'how fitting'. He did the same with his ecstasy, only his were white with a little dragon imprint. It was how they were counted and distributed, so no one lost their stash or got it mixed with others.   
  
The little pill was still staring at him…practically begging to be taken. But then a picture of a pretty little red head entered his mind.  
  
  
  
~" Don't get high tomorrow, or I swear I'll tell a teacher, understood? Just give your body a break."~  
  
  
Her voice floated through his head and with difficulty he pushed the other boys hand away. Blaise looked startled for a moment, clearly thinking 'That's never happened before…'. But shrugged it off while putting the pill back into a tiny box he'd had with him, and slipped it into his shoulder bag.   
  
Draco was still thinking of her words though. He strongly doubted she'd go and tell a teacher…her voice didn't carry any threat. More concern than a threat is what he picked up from it. Over all he guessed she just needed something to guarantee he would show up…at least not skip out because he was to high to remember.   
  
Though he didn't appreciate the black mail bit, he had to recognize her being a clever one. That took some quick thinking on her part in order to convince him to talk in the first palce. Too bad she wasn't in Slytherin. Now that he was thinking of houses he wondered what house she was in. Hufflepuff…? No, he bet she would have ran and got a teacher during their first go around. Ravenclaw was a possibility, after all she volunteers in the medical wing obviously and she has wit, yes that is a reasonable choice. She's not in Slytherin that's for sure. He'd of remembered her face most definitely. That only left…  
  
Draco's heart skipped a beat…'What if she /was/ a Gryffondor?' He had plans for this girl, she wasn't one to be easily forgotten, and he wanted her. At this point of obsession he would have lowered his standards to date a Hufflepuff. But Gryffondor…he couldn't do a bloody thing about it. Not one damn thing. That alliance would be totally unacceptable.   
  
'Don't worry so much mate, she could be in Ravenclaw…' But some how this twist of fate just seemed to fit the situation. Nothing really came easy to him, nothing was ever handed to him on a silver platter- things that he'd wanted badly any way. So it would seem absolutely possible the One Up Above would want to complete the horrible picture that is his life and keep the one thing he craves out of reach.   
  
Though he had no proof, and he was over analyzing the subject a bit…   
  
"5 points from Slytherin!"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She looked up startled, but when she saw it was him she relaxed, though still looking a bit confused "You're here."   
  
Draco raised an eyebrow, "You asked me to meet you, did you not?"  
  
"Yes, yes I did…I just thought…" Well in all honestly she didn't think he'd want to waste his time with such a child like her self. But apparently not. He'd also brought his lunch. "…I'm glad you came."  
  
He gave her a small smile, "No bother really." Draco walked over and sat down beside her at one of the wiped down desks. Obviously she'd cleaned the surrounding area as every thing else was covered in layers of dust.   
  
"I don't have much time, maybe half an hour or so, is that all right?" he answered to her questioning look before she could ask him. "I just have an…appointment, later on." Ok, so he lied. The truth was his blood was burning for something. It didn't matter if it was just a little fix…or maybe something much stronger was in order.  
  
"Oh, I don't think this will take to long. I just wanted to talk…" Ginny looked downward, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. Her turkey sandwich laid out on her napkin, untouched. She was nervous just being here with him. The girl wasn't blind, she did find him attractive. And now that she thought of it…asking the Draco Malfoy to have a secret meeting with her in an abandoned class room located in a part of the school that was not well traveled in…what in Merlin's name was she /thinking/?!   
  
Draco had carried with him a cloth and while she was thinking he had laid the cloths contents out in front of him, unwrapping his lunch which he'd brought. Though she was a bit surprised at what he brought. A few jaffa cakes, some biscuits, and a swiss role. She wasn't sure what he'd bring but that wasn't in her mind at all, he had quite a sweet tooth. It seemed he knew everything that was bad for the human body and was sampling each one with relish…   
  
"And let me guess…you take your coffee white with?"  
  
Draco laughed. He had a deep, rich laugh, she noticed. "No, I like it black. But for me sugar is an entire food group."   
  
"That's putting it lightly." She reached over and lifted his chin gently, she wasn't really conscience of touching other people, she just did so out of habit. Though she did feel him tense up. "I'm surprised you don't have a mouth full of cavities." And gave him a smile as she dropped her hand.   
  
He smiled slightly back, he wasn't sure why, but she was like sunshine. Something pure amongst such a dark place. He couldn't help but smile around her. It was an odd feeling. And because he, for some reason, felt awkward for thinking these thoughts he tried to occupy him self with dividing his biscuits and giving her half. Ginny in return gave him half of her grapes. "Here, have something healthy for a change."  
  
They both ate in silence for a minute or two, just enjoying each other's company. Then Ginny cleaned up the desk space in front of her a bit, and turned to him. Draco, too, was cleaning up the desk in front of him.   
  
"I wanted to ask you…about…what you do…kind of…" Well that was sort of what she wanted.  
  
Draco cocked an eyebrow and tried not to look to confused. "You want to know what I do." He repeated her request back to her just to make sure he'd heard her right. He wasn't entirely sure what she was talking about.   
  
"Yes…kind if…sort of…" She was getting flustered because he kept looking at her so intently and a blush soon crept up her cheeks. Why, oh, why did she have to have this horrid curse of blushing?   
  
"I just…want to know…about The Underground. What you do there…I want to know about…the things you do there…" All of a sudden she found the hem of her skirt /very/ interesting. But she'd said what she'd wanted to say for a while now. Her curiosity really had gotten the better of her. But what harm could it do if he was only going to show her around, and explain a few things…nothing. No harm at all. So technically it was ok for her to ask, and it would be ok if he said "sure why not?"  
  
Ginny had this entire conversation worked out in her head. Analyzing the pros and cons. Rethinking every situation possible. Though it wasn't as if she needed to…what she was asking was perfectly innocent. She wasn't going to try anything, she just wanted to know a little bit about it. That was all. Nothing more. Nope, not one thing more…  
  
While Ginny was running her inner monologue, Draco was thinking as well. Thinking about what exactly she wanted out of al of this. Was she some do-gooder wanting to point out all of the 'evils' of drugs? Or was she just…curious as to what they can do, how they effect people. He looked at her as he pondered her possible motives, and that was when he truly saw her. She didn't look like a scrawny brat to him now, with out her robes on the Hogwarts uniform did allot to accent her curves. Her hair, now down instead of in a ponytail, was straight but had occasional curls in it. And her eyes, as she looked up at him nervously…they were the most beautiful eyes he'd had the privilege of seeing. He for some reason was seeing her in an entirely new light.  
  
He was the first to look away, uncomfortable with this new found intimacy just by her gazing at him, no- into him, it seemed, with her eyes. He needed to get this girl, be close to her, take care of her, and maybe even show her the ropes if she was interested. He didn't know…but what he did know was that he saw this girl in his future, he could feel it, something than ran deep between them. But would she become friend or lover?   
  
He leaned closer to her, all he could see was her. Nothing else mattered at the moment, and he didn't notice anything else so it might as well have not mattered in the first place. Though he didn't know he had the same effect on her. She felt connected to him in some way…and she brushed it off as maternal instinct to want to help and heal him.   
  
"What is it you want to know exactly?"  
  
Ginny swallowed, feeling very uncomfortable for a moment. His eyes seemed to see right through her, like she couldn't lie to him, he would know because he could see into her soul. Ginny sat up, and leaned back a bit, breaking the intimate feeling between them, which suited her just fine.   
  
"I just…want to know, is all. Maybe you could show me…?"  
  
With out really knowing it Virginia gave him the most persuasive puppy dog eyes, and her lip jutted out slightly. With so many siblings this act worked with her father and it over ruled all her brothers. It was like second nature to her.  
  
"Alright, come with me." Draco stood, and picked up his robe off of the back of his chair.  
  
Ginny stood hesitantly. "Where are we going? I though we were going to talk."  
  
"I always say it is better to learn by doing, so we are going to the club to introduce to you a few new things."  
  
"The Club?" she actually gulped, she didn't want to go there. She might get caught by her brother and with Draco Malfoy as an escort no less. That wouldn't be a pretty situation.   
  
He seemed to sense that something was wrong. "Don't worry, no one will be able to do anything to you…you don't have to try anything either…just look around."  
  
"…Alright." Ginny gathered up her cloak and after disposing of their garbage the two teens left the study room, heading for the dungeons.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
They were silent as they walked, he knew the way, and strangely so did Gin from a long time ago when she had to run and get Ron all of the time- back when his habit was worse. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, not at all, Ginny felt like it was their own little secret of some kind. And in a way it was a secret. No one could know what she's wanting to know, this couldn't get back to her family.  
  
"Draco? You won't tell any one will you? About showing me around and such? I don't think many people will be to pleased with that prospect."   
  
Draco looked over at her, he know realized she'd never mentioned family or anything. Obviously she knew about him being an only child, as every one knew about the Malfoys. But she hadn't mentioned any siblings, or relatives of some kind. 'Then again it's not as like we've been around each other, while still conscience, that much to begin with.'  
  
"No I won't tell. Do you…have a brother or sister who would tell your parents or something?" He really started to think over what he knew about this girl. She seemed intelligent, beautiful red hair if he's ever seen it, perfect skin…there were those freckles but they didn't bother him as much as when he first saw them. It was cute in a way. She volunteered with Madame Pomfrey, and had this caring look about her, like she was one to have taken in every stray that wandered near her street. He noticed she was almost always smiling…except when she was disapproving of something he most likely did.   
  
'What else?' There wasn't much else to the girl that he knew. He didn't know what house she was in, what her favorite subject was, her favorite color, things she hated…He'd never even as much as recognized her before all of all this started. And what was 'this' exactly? Is he just going to show her around, point out a few things, then not speak to her again? He had to get to know her better.  
  
"A brother, here at Hogwarts." Her eyes sparkled momentarily with the knowledge she held, "you know him actually."   
  
"Really? Who-" But they were already there. Ginny got out her ring that was on a chain around her neck and slipped it onto her finger. He was wearing his, a simple silver band around his thumb. Both knocked on the appropriate brick, and just like she remembered a doorway appeared.   
  
Draco put a hand on the small of her back, pushing slightly. "Ladies first."  
  
It was almost like she remembered it. There was a lot less commotion now as there weren't so many people. Just a few smokers laying on some sofas. It seemed brighter now, than it was last time she was in here. Looking down she noticed the steps were at one time painted a deep red, the paint now was chipping to reveal more stone gray, she hadn't noticed that before. No girls lined the doors, and they stood slightly ajar. It was…quiet…how odd it all seemed to her.   
  
Draco and Gin walked down the steps together he was making his way towards the bar, she followed slightly behind him, still looking around trying to remember anything she'd forgotten. He waved to some one calling out a friendly greeting, then grabbed a bottle of something off of the shelf after slipping some coins into a box.   
  
He noticed her confused look. "When no one tends it's a trust system. Every one knows if you don't pay for it it'll come out of some one else's pocket or we won't get any more alcohol."  
  
"Oh." Well, how was one to respond to that?  
  
Then he headed toward the doors on the opposite side of the room. Ginny followed until they were about to enter a private chamber-- away from every one else. She stopped walking, and it took him a second to become aware of her absents by his side.  
  
"What's the matter?"  
  
She looked form the door to him, then back to the door.  
  
"I'm not going to do anything if that's what you're worried about." She still wasn't reassured…how could she trust him any ways? No, she'd rather stay out here. Although if she actually needed help she doubted any one would as they'd be to high. But she figured it was just a comfort thing.  
  
Draco was thinking the same thing and trying to not seem as offended and a bit hurt as he was that she didn't trust him…he already trusted her.   
  
"Alright, we can go sit over there if you like" he pointed over toward a collection of chairs and a sofa that surrounded a table, an identical set up to every other group of seating arrangements about the large room, though practically all the furniture was mismatched. "We just need to find a spot where we can talk about what you wanted with out people listening in."  
  
"Alright."   
  
"I have to go grab something out of here though first" he made a gesture to the door they were originally going to enter "I'll be back in a second."   
  
Ginny went and made herself comfortable on a sofa waiting for him to return. What could he possibly want in the bedrooms? She was sure that's what they were now, as she'd seen inside when he'd opened the door to go in. She'd seen a large bed and a fireplace but backed up before she could see anything else really.   
  
What was she going to ask about now? --Oh yeah I was wondering what it's like to over dose, think you could help me out here?-- no, that wouldn't do at all. Her problem was she didn't know what she wanted in the first place. Did she want to try something? Was she doing this just to be near him. He may be Draco Malfoy but she felt her self…/wanting/ to be in his company. Though this may have something to do with the fact that he had no real idea as to who she was…but then again he didn't ask, now did he?  
  
Draco returned shortly carrying something wrapped in a cloth. It looked to be a box of some kind. He sat down next to her placing the wrapped up box on the low table in front of them. Ginny starred at the box.  
  
"What is it you want to know? Do you want to know what it's like…how things are used…?" she looked at him wanting to answer his question. But she didn't know what to say.  
  
Sighing she thought she might as well just tell him what she thought. "I'm not sure what I want" those skirt hems sure were interesting, she decided to put all her concentration on it by looking down, anywhere but at him actually. "Before you…started, hadn't you ever just /wondered/ what it would be like? Or see what every one is making such a fuss about?"  
  
"Yes" he said slowly "I was…curious about the subject." A flash of his father came to him. He was sprawled out in one of the chairs in his office. His eyes were blank starring at nothing…Draco was only a child, he thought he was dead. But his cries were quieted with his mother reassurances "It's just what grown ups do sweet heart, don't worry about your father." Or of those long nights when Lucius was weaning him self off of the drugs, even though there were silencing charms, Draco swore he could still here the screaming. And his mother seemed to suffer more abuse than usual during those days.  
  
"I knew some one once who had access to drugs. I asked a friend if he wanted to try them with me…ever since…well, it's just worked for me I guess is the right wording."  
  
It was the first time he'd ever discussed his habit with any one, before he'd met her he never had to. All of his Slytherin friends took it as that's just how he was, nothing more.   
  
"What did you start out with?"   
  
"Well there are soft drugs, and then hard drugs. It was nothing to do with the material but more of the impact, addiction and so on. I started out with just taking pills. Any kind I could get my hands on. And I found some rather good ones to." He smiled as if he was recalling fond memories. Ginny wasn't sure if she wanted to know about them.  
  
"But those were the kinds of drugs you are used to by definition. The drug I really started with was nicotine. And also alcohol helped with some things to." He reached into the pocket of his robes and pulled out the bottle he'd gotten from the bar earlier. "Speaking of…"  
  
He opened the bottle and took a swig, then gestured the bottle towards her, encouraging her to take it.   
  
What could the harm be in just one little taste?  
  
She took the bottle and did as he did, but ended up coughing as it burned her throat all the way down. Draco laughed at her coughing fit good-naturedly. "I keep forgetting that you've never done anything like this before…it takes some getting used to."   
  
Still coughing she answered, "Yeah, I'll bet."  
  
Taking another drink Draco reached towards the box he'd brought over earlier. "I was going to show you this, it was stashed in that room. I really wasn't trying to do anything." He opened the box and inside was a small tray lined with red velvet, laid out one the tray were needles, and vials lined one side. He lifted the tray out and set it down. What he was really going for was under the tray. The bottom was separated into sections. In each section there were types of pills. Little bitty ones, capsules, round ones, square ones, ones with designs, white and blue ones…it was a regular menagerie of 'sweets'.   
  
"I thought you might want to try one out just to get a feel for them…these little ones aren't as strong as I would like, but for you, it'll knock you down."  
  
He held up a small white pill.   
  
Ginny was about to hold out her hand- just to look closer of course not to take it or anything…but something stopped her. She felt eyes on her and she turned her head. A boy a few chair-clusters away was looking at her, not just looking- staring.   
  
It seemed to her, with some one watching that all this was wrong. Everything. Wanting to do this, wanting to know him better, coming here to this place…  
  
She didn't know why, but for some reason it bothered her now. How pathetic did she have to be to want such a vile escape? She didn't need this. She had family…she had a brother that cared for her and friends…sort of. So, her brother had been busy for the last…few years. No big deal. And that whole friend situation, well she talked with Collin some times so she was not totally alone…  
  
The mental picture of herself diving for the damned little pill had ingrained it's self in her mind. All she had o do was reach out. But the eyes stopped her, 'What if some one told?'  
  
"People are watching…what if word got back to my brother?"  
  
Draco smiled. "Another one of the rules that I should hurry up and explain to you, that is if you decide to experiment a bit, is that what ever happens here /stays/ here. Padma still doesn't know what a slut her sister is."  
  
Well, as "charming" as that last bit was she knew the rules around here would be respected…so why was that boy starring? She couldn't feel him any more, which meant he probably went back to what ever he was doing previously…  
  
"So…do you want to try it?"  
  
Ginny opened her mouth to reply.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N): Tell me how I did. You know the button…  
  
p.s. for those of you who are reading "The Collector" and waiting (painfully) for a sex scene beween D/G, and well- same for people on here, I just posted a one-shot dark D/G fic called "I Will Rise". Yes I know...shameless advertising...with the shame... ;p but go check it out!  
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	9. Where She Belongs

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(A/N): Well, I thought I was totally stuck on this story. But then I up loaded some Arabian-Techno Music on Kazaa…and *wow* I got inspired ^_^ kind of odd really…  
  
  
  
thank yous go to: Luinthoron and little notes for all of you as well.  
  
  
  
  
  
Nicole: Hee, hee, hee. So are you a Wind and Ashes junkie now? Good…good…*looks evil* lol No, but really, thank you for reviewing and such it's always nice to hear how much my writings are liked :D  
  
  
  
supergal88: *raises eyebrow* originality? *bursts out laughing* oh hun, this has been done twice over dead, I just think you cannot be a "true" HP Writer until you have 1) Written a smut fic 2) Written a useless romantic fluff fic 3) Written a cutting/druggie/eating-disorder fic, one of each if encouraged. I'm almost there, too. And thanks for the compliments, I appreciate every one of them!  
  
  
  
girlgoneinsane: I feel needed!!!! Lol, thanks for the review it makes me feel special that I actually got four reviews instead of my usual 3 p  
  
  
  
Riauna: Oh cool, another person from out of the woodwork, eh? Thank you much for reviewing, it lets me know all yall read this thing. Oh yeah, change my usual three to 5 now (*Dimi wears a happy cat grin*)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Key  
  
Pot: marijuana (Mair-Ah-Wah-Nah), reefers, herb, mary jane, j, pot, mj (...although I refrain from saying this as it tends to atract Micheal Jackson fans...)  
  
Shotgunning/A Shotgun; not a drug, a term: Where some one inhales the smoke first and then passes it onto some one else. It isn't as strong as if one would inhale right from the source because it's already been filtered. That is why many people get shotguns on thier first and second tries.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
"No." The word came slowly to her and rolled off her tongue.  
  
  
  
"Huh?" he sounded genuinely surprised.   
  
  
  
"I said /no/."  
  
  
  
Ginny bowed her head, almost feeling shame or guilt for some reason. But in the back of her mind she just /knew/ she could not do this now. It was just a feeling, but a strong feeling at that. Nervously Gin started to play with the hem of her skirt. She didn't bring her jumper or wore a tie so he wouldn't see her house colors. And she like him hadn't brought a robe either.   
  
  
  
"I just can't…I can't do that because…"  
  
  
  
Draco looked as if he was trying not to smile. "Because…? Come on, it's ok, people do it all the time."   
  
  
  
Ginny's eyebrows drew together, she felt like he wanted her to do this a lot more then he should, desperately almost. 'Why is he pushing this?' she wondered.  
  
  
  
"No." she said for a third time "I don't think I will." She'd lost her nerve to do anything, now.   
  
  
  
Virginia started to stand but her grabbed her arm gently.  
  
  
  
"Hey, come on now. I didn't mean to scare you off. Come sit for a minute." She hesitated so he tugged on her arm softly, and it seemed his voice dropped an octave trying to sooth her "I'm not going to hurt you Virginia, I just want to talk, only for a minute." His voice was also strangely hypnotic to her, she literally wondered if he'd done a spell. But no wand was in his hand. Maybe he just had that effect on her…that kind of control.   
  
  
  
Almost against her own will, she sat. It was strange, she knew there was something about him…that unknown connection she'd felt earlier came back to her ten fold. She felt that because he wanted her to stay with him…that she /had/ to. But all thoughts were interrupted when he started to speak again.  
  
  
  
"I wasn't trying to force it on you or anything…I just thought you wanted this and it might of taken a bit of encouragement. Just the idea can be a bit…frightening to some people."  
  
  
  
She looked up at him, and her eyes almost looked tired. For a second Ginny looked as jaded as him. "Can I trust you Draco? Can I really trust you?"  
  
  
  
He leaned in pulling her forward, their eyes met and foreheads touched, and just before he kissed her he breathed, "Yes."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
This mysterious connection between them could not be explained in words. That one kiss would be something neither forgot, that neither would /want/ to forget. Since then every time Ginny kissed a boy she would compare it to this, and the details that never grew unclear. She remembered everything in crisp detail. His unsteady breathing, the small moan that came from the back of his throat and his hands that worked their way from her hip to up her torso….everything she remembered and often played back later on.  
  
  
  
Draco had now leaned her back onto the sofa, lying slightly on top of her. He loved just this little bit of contact, but had this burning desire for /more/ of her. To be with her, get closer to her, in any way possible. All that was going through his head was 'Fuck every one else in the room, I want her now.' And he would probably of had his way…if it weren't for Harry Potter.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Many kisses later Ginny pushed him back, gasping for breath. She didn't know why she let him kiss her in the first place, or why she responded so desperately…but now that her mind was somewhat clear she knew that this shouldn't be happening.   
  
  
  
The name going through her mind wasn't Draco Malfoy…but Harry Potter. Now, she knew it was silly, but couldn't help it. She thought she was in love with The Boy who Lived for so long…she'd only recently come to terms with the fact that is was not love. So she was unsure about how to go about this. This whole thing could be the result of so many situations. Was this some kind of revenge on Harry for ignoring her all this time? (Not on purpose of course…) Or was it trying to get away from the Angel Ginny she was so well known for. And what better way to rid her self of such a reputation than drugs and sex with Draco Malfoy- not to mention doing them both on a couch in front of a bunch of people?   
  
  
  
Or, an explanation she did like, did she really feel a connection to him? Something that's been there before she even laid eyes on him. Something… too wonderful for words really.   
  
  
  
He was looking at her now, and she was looking at him. Feeling like she should apologize Ginny slowly slid out from under him, scrunching up on the other end of the couch. It was then she noticed the silence in the room, and she looked around for a moment as to see why.   
  
  
  
The congregation of people near by had moved to the other side of the room. To give them privacy she supposed. A blush crept up her face, though not as bad as it could have been.   
  
  
  
"I'm sorry." It wasn't Ginny who'd spoken, it was him. Draco was now sitting up as well, and looking at her, wondering if he'd just blew the entire chance of something between them just because he got horny all of a sudden. Some times being a guy wasn't al that great…  
  
  
  
"I didn't mean to…" she had a look on her face so he rushed ahead hoping he didn't sound desperate nor idiotic. "I mean I /wanted/ to, but I just didn't want to…I wanted to make sure you wanted it to and you kissed back…but honestly, it wasn't /that/ bad was it?" He finished with a harsh sigh. He thought he sounded like a bumbling idiot, something Draco Malfoy was not accustomed to.  
  
  
  
'Oh, yes, Draco. That was very articulate. You should write speeches with such intelligent words.' He could have slapped him self…  
  
  
  
For a moment Ginny looked scared. But then calmed down as she knew what she could do. Which was thinking, she only needed time now.   
  
  
  
"I need time to think about something…everything…..ok?"  
  
  
  
He actually wasn't, but decided it didn't really matter what he wanted now. "Sure."  
  
  
  
Though at her next words he was very happy he'd agreed. "I can see you again though, can't I?" she asked.  
  
  
  
He almost grinned, but instead answered coolly with a nonchalant air to it. "I don't see why not."  
  
  
  
"But" he added, "why don't you come back here tonight, around nine or so? You can make your decision then. I'll be here, waiting."  
  
  
  
It seemed like a good idea. She had all day to think about what she wanted. Though she wasn't sure if he was talking about him self, or about the drugs.   
  
  
  
It was like he could read her thoughts. "We don't have to do anything about the drugs, Virginia. We can start small on something like that. Just a little sample here or there."  
  
  
  
Ginny nodded once then stood to leave. She needed to start thinking soon as possible.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
With a burst of frustration Ginny threw a pillow across the room suppressing a scream. Then laid back down roughly. This was horrible…absolutely devastating. She'd been thinking for a long time, and all that ran through her head was the kiss they'd shared…how could she resist anything if there was a promise of more time with him to come? She found her mind was running in circles. Drugs and Draco. Drugs can be addictive…but she could just try the ones that aren't. Draco, in a way, was addictive as well. Draco is bad. So are drugs. But are drugs bad because people say they are bad? Is it the same with Draco? No, Draco is most definitely bad…Ginny, at this point, just didn't care…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
She hadn't eaten dinner, being as nervous as she was that was probably a good idea. So she'd finally made her mind on what to do, and decided to tell him that night when they'd planned to meet. Ginny had thought about just not showing up, yes that would probably be more comforting to her self. But knew she had to do this. Not only that…but he still didn't know who she was. If anything that is the problem she couldn't get past. So she was going to try a few things. Nothing too strong, or addictive. Definitely nothing too expensive either. And that would be all she asked for…then the only thing she had to do was explain to him about her family. He really didn't need to know actually, but she felt like he would want to…and if he changed his mind after that, and acted as if he'd rather not help her out, then that was fine to. She would then have the decision made for her, and no worries.  
  
  
  
Ginny was shaking badly by the time she reached the door. She missed the right brick twice.  
  
  
  
Upon entering The Underground she expected every one to stop and stare at her, maybe even start whispering. But they didn't. Actually, not even one person looked up. Fine with her really.  
  
  
  
She wandered around looking for any one with blond hair, but didn't see him. Frowning she picked an empty cluster of chairs over near the doors in the back. As she could see every one and not really be in the middle of everything. Less likely to be seen that is. As she waited, observing everything around her she found that there were certain hours in this place when things really got busy. Right now it wasn't that bad. There were a lot of people, and it seemed there were regular girls that lined up by the doors again. But there weren't that many in the crowd, no live music like before, and you could actually see around most the smoke, as it wasn't to thick yet.   
  
  
  
"Boo." A deep voice came from behind her and she swore she jumped out of her skin. Now that her heart felt like she ran a marathon she saw who had scared her and slapped him good in the arm. But Draco was laughing to hard to really notice, rubbing the injury absentmindedly.  
  
  
  
"You should have seen your face, classic."   
  
  
  
"God, you are such a brat!" Se looked at him and saw that he looked happy right now…the fact that his eyes were dilated didn't really register. But if she knew what to connect that symptom with common sense she'd of known he was happy because he'd previously taken a hit of, even to him, an unknown substance.  
  
  
  
He smiled and shrugged, "What can I say? It's a gift."   
  
  
  
With a certain grace, almost in a lazy-not-caring way he fell into a chair next to hers slightly facing her direction. "So…have you thought about it?"  
  
  
  
"Yes, I have…and I think…I want to try it out." He looked simply delighted. "Just a few things though…nothing that could kill me, or that I'd become dependant on, ok?"  
  
  
  
"Yeah, sure." He seemed to think something up quickly then say, "Come on."  
  
  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
  
  
"I know the perfect thing to start you out on."  
  
  
  
"…And what would that be?"   
  
  
  
Draco was leading her through the many twists and turns of haphazard paths that were set up between groups of chairs and standing people. It seemed more teenagers had come in while they were talking. And Ginny wouldn't help but feel pleasure when he held her hand so they wouldn't get separated.   
  
  
  
She could tell him about the Weasley thing tomorrow…  
  
  
  
He'd led them to a door. It was at the very back of the room, separated slightly from the bedroom doors on the rounded wall, and instead sat on the same wall as the stage though far from it. It was wider to, and looked to be made of a darker wood than any of the other doors. 'Now, where might this lead?' Ginny thought.  
  
  
  
Her silent question was answered when he reached to open the door. Draco turned and said with a smile, "Don't worry, it isn't a bedroom. It's more like…a relaxing room. Before some people were complaining about not having a place just for…relaxing, I guess you could say. And so they added on a separate room."  
  
  
  
"Relaxing?" she asked doubtfully.   
  
  
  
"Well…more like 'pot smokers only', but I guess that could be called relaxing also."  
  
  
  
When they entered the room it looked like just another Hogwarts classroom, except there were many places you could lay down and no desks in sight. Pillows and makeshift beds, where people already lay, were strewn about the room. It seemed as if the people in this room were some where else entirely though.   
  
  
  
One girl sat on a pillow, legs crisscrossed, and in her lap where socks. Looking around Ginny saw some people near by didn't have any socks or just had one missing and didn't care because they were distracted by other things. The girl though was folding them repeatedly, and giggling. Soon another person came and sat by her, marveling at these 'wondrous' socks.  
  
  
  
While some would rather be alone, others sat in a group. It seemed like they were debating something, though not aggressively. Like an athenaeum discussion. Only…the subject was about how Snape is the antichrist or something of the sort…jabbering about rubbish really.   
  
  
  
But the whole atmosphere was very…like Draco had said, relaxed.   
  
  
  
"There's a good spot over in the corner." He tugged her arm a bit so she followed. And he was right, in the corner was a bunch of pillows and blankets spread out. Kind of like a nest you could lay in. Draco sat down, and pulled Ginny down as well. She didn't want to lean against the wall so she leaned back against his shoulder and chest instead, he didn't seem to mind.   
  
  
  
**Draco then pulled something out of his pocket with his right hand, as his other hand was around her waist, and held it up for her to see. In his hand was two cigarettes, only they looked rolled by hand and not store bought. Ginny was confused, you'd think with as much money as Malfoy had he'd just /buy/ cigarettes. But there was something funny about them, they looked like what every one else was smoking and the smoke in the room smelt weird to. These weren't normal cigarettes…but then what were they?  
  
  
  
"They look like cigarettes…but I'm sure they are not." She looked up at him to reassure this observation.   
  
  
  
Sure enough he gave a quick nod. "This is marijuana, you smoke it like a cigarette." He pointed to a few people by them who were doing just that. Some weren't holding it with their hands though.  
  
  
  
"Draco, what is that they're holding it with?"  
  
  
  
"Tweezers. It's so they don't burn their fingers when it gets down to far and makes it easier to hold really. I have a pair to, if you get that far."   
  
  
  
"And…what does it do exactly?" She asked.  
  
  
  
"Um…" he knew exactly what it did, but she didn't know anything about this really, how was he to explain it? "THC goes from your lungs to your brain and suppresses the neurons. It'll work in the first few seconds of the drag." He knew she really didn't catch a word, even though she nodded slightly as if acknowledging the facts.   
  
  
  
"It's harmless really. Just lay back a bit."  
  
  
  
Even though he was a very good wizard, Draco enjoyed carrying around lighters instead of using his wand. He guessed it was just because it was what he used first, and you couldn't use your wand over break so he usually had a lighter on him any way.   
  
  
  
Ginny did lie back, more into him. With his right hand holding the lighter he lit it, which was in his left hand, then threw the lighter onto the small book ledge next to them. He switched hands and inhaled, just to get it going. Then handed it to her.  
  
  
  
"You're going to cough like hell this first time, but it'll get better after that."  
  
  
  
Ginny took it between her thumb, middle and forefinger as she'd seen him do. It was slightly awkward holding it, but brought it to her mouth, inhaling deeply. The smoke did make her cough badly. It wasn't a pleasant experience at all. A few people nearby chuckled, muttering "newbie".  
  
  
  
Draco leaned down now, moving her hand so he to could have some, he didn't cough though. When he exhaled his eyes closed and she could feel his body relax much more.   
  
  
  
But before he could really loose himself he remembered Virginia. "Here lean down a bit." She did laying down now while her head rested on a pillow. It felt comfortable as the pillows behind them where soft, and the blankets beneath them were so thick and cozy she could barely feel the ground.  
  
  
  
"What I'm about to do is called a shotgun. Hold it this time, and exhale slowly. Trust me love." He kissed her, careful to hold the *cigarette up so no one would get burned. Then he took another drag and held it for a second leaning down and touching her mouth gently so she would open. She took the hint and Draco, coving the rest of the space between them, touched his lips with hers and exhaled into her mouth.  
  
  
  
This time she did hold it and exhaled slowly as he had advised. It was at this time some one had turned off the lights and instead there was something…no, it was still light but it was blinking-- flashing. A few minutes later after kissing and more shotguns Ginny moved her hand in front of her face and giggled as she saw how it moved. It was extremely funny, though she wasn't exactly sure why. Draco, to, laughed a bit. When from some where music came as well Ginny was far beyond relaxed. She'd curled up into Draco's arms, feeling very safe and like everything was /perfect/.  
  
  
  
This is what she'd been looking for, searching for, these past years. A place to be, and she knew -here- was where she belonged. She did feel Draco move a bit and then some thing though she wasn't sure what was going on. As Ginny identified the movement as hands touching her…and not particularly in a 'friendly' way she mumbled a few halfhearted -no, stop, don't-s but then quit trying as he didn't stop.   
  
  
  
…Why should she care? Where she was, nothing could get her…nothing…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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Draco knew the reason for the separate room was so they could have the lights and the music with out disturbing the others. But by now he could have cared less. Just moments before he had set the reefer down and put his attention back to Ginny. She had a smile on her face, he'd never seen before. Gently he stroked her hair and she moved into the touch. She looked…happy. Not like she didn't before but if you could compare, which he could, he would say she never truly looked happy before.   
  
  
  
His hand moved down so his thumb stroked her cheek. Yes, she belongs here with him. This could be her world now, and he was happy to share it with such an angel…corrupting was more like it, but one could never appreciate purity until it was ruined.   
  
  
  
Draco's hand moved again this time to her blouse. It seemed like a good idea at the time, undoing the buttons just to see what was underneath. Then he would stop. He knew he would never do anything a woman didn't consent to. But then as he saw how beautiful she was, and felt the softness of her no longer childlike form-- he decided she also wouldn't mind if he did something else.   
  
  
  
Morals seemed to be blurred, new allowances were made and seemed logical under the influence of the drug. He kissed his way down her chest, and lucky for him her bra had a clasp in front, and soon that to was open. As he pulled her down under his body and his hand 'played' with her breats and another going up her skirt he heard her whimper and say "Stop it … please don't …/no/…don't…" but it didn't really get through.   
  
  
  
It was like fog was in his brain. Clouding the messages, making them stick together and get jumbled up.   
  
  
  
  
  
As far as he knew she wanted this just as badly as he did…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Lesson Of The Day: Drugs can cloud your judgement…no there won't be any more lessons, don't worry, lol. But I wanted to say this was my reason for writing in Ginny and her 'rape' comment. Before Draco was offended she would even think such a thing…but now he finds nothing wrong with it…  
  
  
  
Note: I went easy on Ginny in this one. Peoples first times with pot can range from great to really sucking. And you'll probably be hacking up a lung at first…but come on! How romantic is that? So just a little coughing will do ^_^  
  
*Some people usually just call them cigarettes as adults are more likely to let it slide, and as "Hey, got any pot on you?" seems to draw a little more attention…  
  
**Don't put them in your pocket they can break you know.  
  
  
  
I hope to add more druggie goodness to the next chapter as well. And don't forget to review! I live off of reviews ^_^ Goddess, how sad am I? lol.  
  
  
  
-Wind and Ashes  
  
  
  
  
  
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	10. A World of Junkies

(A/N): A bit of time has past between chapter 8 and now, just so you know, about a week. And no promises about up-dates. I can say I'll be a bit better about them, but I really just need to get back on track.  
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There weren't a lot of things in this world Draco Malfoy was sure of. Principles in what he followed were there, but actual faith in his ethics wasn't. Maybe that was why many of these things were easy for him. Deal a little, take a little, spend a little . . . it was all the same to him.   
  
And with the drugs…it was practically in his genes. His father, an alcoholic now and a drug addict, not to mention his mother, a woman on so much morphine and opium he wasn't exactly sure what she was like to begin with- well, he was bound to get into something, right?   
  
And as he sees it, it's mostly like the world just wants you to look at everything one way, just black and white and nothing else counts. He could tell every one who didn't already know he took drugs, he's tried Heroin, Marijuana, Meth, Hashish and they might get this look on their face: either appalled, disgusted, and of course the sad "poor misguided child" look. Sometimes all three, he got. Didn't matter to him though. He knew what most didn't know. That the whole concept of 'drugs' was rather over rated. It didn't matter because no matter what, you couldn't get away from it, you couldn't hide from it. Drugs were everywhere and every god damn thing. The beauty of the human mind was that you could make anything your own drug, and still have the nerve to blame the industry when shit goes wrong with it.   
  
Nicotine and alcohol were just two drugs that people were finally waking up and identifying, even so, there are many others that have yet to be: aspirin, caffeine, even that relaxing tea your mum might drink before bed…they're all drugs, always have been, always will be- people have just never categorized them as so. The world is nothing but junkies, every single one of them. You're pumped full of drugs soon as you come into this world, and for many, pumped full of more as they leave.  
  
Its how the world goes round; it's how people survive- get along- get by, what ever excuse you want to give will be good enough for the person next door. Because no one really cares what the hell you do. For most, he figured, they just pulled those faces and made a fuss because if they didn't they'd imagine people looking down on them. And then the blaming starts.  
  
"If she wouldn't have gotten hold of those drugs she never would have over dosed."  
  
"If he'd never heard of doing it, he never would have tried it."  
  
Draco felt like saying to each and every one of them, "Listen, mums and dads, you're obviously just looking for a way out, something else to shift blame on other than your selves, to take attention away from the fact that you were horrible parents to begin with and that you drove little Johnny into a squat or what ever the hell…"  
  
Yeah, he should tell them all. But as he swirled what was left of the ruby red liquid in the long wine bottle Draco decided such a long and thought out lecture would have to wait till morning.  
  
Not to mention he should be getting up for an appointment soon, a detention, which was part of the agreement between Snape and himself for his inappropriate behavior. But, as he failed to stand up or even really accomplish anything, Draco just lay there saying to him self Snape would understand…surely he would…  
  
The last image he remembered was his dorm room, filled with the soft glowing light of the fire, it made him feel warm, as he stared into the fading embers in the hearth across the room. The shadows danced, and a little later on, shrank. Then everything went black.  
  
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It was late afternoon by the time he awoke and with a note sitting next to him no less. But the note wouldn't catch his attention for some time yet.   
  
First off imagine the worst head ache, no migraine, you've ever had; now multiply that by 10; and it all adds up to what he was feeling. What he some times calls a Grade A hang over.  
  
The dim light caught his eye and he winced away, and then regretted the sudden movement immediately.  
  
"Why the hell do I do this any more…" he asked him self, and a good question it was, but he had to stop speaking. Every word was like a spike going through his fore head. An hour or two and several cups of tea later he finally got around to the letter.  
  
  
Mr.Malfoy  
  
We had an agreement made, yet last night at ten O'clock you failed to appear. I was for a short time hoping there was a perfectly reasonable explanation but upon arriving at your dorm and seeing what sort of a state you were in I know, sadly, I was only wasting my time.  
  
You will meet with me tomorrow afternoon during your free hour, no excuses. I do not want to be disappointed by you again, Draco. As for today I have written you an excuse for the other teachers, try to keep out of sight until you feel you can stay on your feet.  
  
Prof. Snape  
  
  
  
The old bastard had covered for him, again. He really was probably going to make him do something terrible, like scrub out cauldrons, and the fact that he missed their last meeting would not reflect well upon him either.  
  
Damn it all, he thought, how could I have forgotten? But as his eyes drifted to the very much empty wine bottle, that had fallen to the ground earlier and rolled almost under the bed, he only shied away from the answer.  
  
'I'll just have to keep better track of the time is all.'  
  
Yes, that was it, just keep telling your self that, that was all he had to do, just tell him self he was run down and needed to sleep in- like all teenagers need to do at some point.  
  
Sighing, Draco got up and got fully dressed so he could get to the showers. The basin of cold water had helped him some what but a refreshing shower could do wonders.  
  
'What's Gin up to bout now?' entered his mind as he grabbed a towel and closed his dorm room door.   
  
  
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Virginia Weasley at the time was holed up in a study room trying to make up homework from her history class. The night before last she had taken a few joints back with her to her dorm and by two in the morning all she'd accomplished was a few half hearted squiggles on paper, which really looked amusing to her at the time, but the next morning when they were due it wasn't as funny as it had been. But she gave the Professor a speech about how she had been so stressed and loosing sleep and, what ever else, she babbled a bit and he looked like he understood and said she could make it up. Thank the Goddess.  
  
She'd have to tell Draco no more until AFTER her homework was done. Though she already knew what he would do. Laugh his deep laugh, smile a crooked half smile and pass her another hit of something. He wasn't very helpful when it came to study habits.  
  
Rune Lore, their beginnings in muggle mythology and then compared to how they were really created and used by Wizards, was her topic. And right now was such a damn good time to get complete writers block.  
  
"Sod it all." She said aloud, causing a few looks to come her way as she stood and gathered her books. Today she had tried to put at least a little thought into her appearance, pulling her red hair up with a black ribbon, an almost transparent pink lip gloss made her lips shine, and a light marking of eye liner made her brown eyes slightly exotic in a way, her skirt was definitely a ways past her knees…but he hadn't shown up. Draco that is, he hadn't shown up for breakfast, or lunch she didn't see him hanging round the Underground, or in any or Ron's classes. She's gotten dolled up for him; today she was going to tell him who she was, sort of. More like 'break it to him'. But maybe if she was a bit more appealing then he would forgive her easily, or want to in the littlest way. She was sure of it.  
  
By now she hadn't any idea as to where he was or why and it might be getting late by the time he got back, which meant she wouldn't be going to the bop tonight. It was a live performance by a bunch of Ravenclaw boys she'd never heard play before, but Draco had said they were alright, and she trusted his opinion in almost everything. He really did know what he was talking about most of the time, and he hadn't once started preaching about muggle borns or the Dark Lord when she talked with him. Though, as she noticed later on, he hadn't really been on about that sort of thing for almost two years now. He went home one holiday and when he came back…he wasn't as wretched. Although he could be perfectly nasty when provoked he didn't go out of his way that much to torture first years and the like.  
  
He wasn't redeemed…just kept to himself more is all. People got used to it eventually. It wasn't like he was the sociable type before any way.  
  
Ginny started humming some nonsense tune in her head, then aloud. Humming kept her sane, in her opinion, and no one seemed to mind when they were around her any way. Draco had found it amusing, he'd never known any one who would, for no reason at all; just start humming some song that was in their head. Sometimes the songs didn't make sense, no rhythm or tempo to keep, just, humming.  
  
He told her once it was like she was miles away but at the same time right here with him, Draco had. At first she wasn't sure what he meant, but in the end Ginny could only put together that he meant she was a tad flighty, though by the time she figured it out it was too late to take offence. But it hadn't hurt that he'd said it, his voice told her he was filled with envy. He probably took drugs to get away from something, everything, and here she was getting away from every one just by going in her own head. He could almost be jealous.  
  
Swinging her bag as she walked Virginia looked at the near by portraits trying to figure out what she could do to keep herself amused till Draco came and found her, if he didn't she'd probably have to spend a boring night in the common room watching Harry and Ron play chess, if she was lucky that was. They were so often out together doing who knew what that Ron tried to keep up his skill by playing at lunch; actually giving up one on one time with food to do so. She might have been worried, but as long as they were keeping busy nothing to bad was likely to happen.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Oh brilliant, what is it now. Ginny turned around, and was a bit startled to find a sixth year Slytherin walking up to her. She took a few moments to freeze, just out of fear, and then bolted as fast as she could. She hadn't taken anything of his, hadn't bothered him, didn't know any one he knew…so obviously he just wanted something to occupy his time, like picking on a fifth year. That was the last thing she needed right now, some bully not leaving her alone until she cried and her mascara ran. What a site that would be! So she ran.   
  
Ginny Weasley, with six brothers and being a bit of a tomboy in her younger years was probably the fastest sprinter one would ever see. She was light, and though she didn't have strong muscle, that didn't mean she couldn't get the hell out of a place fast as the wind. And that she did.   
  
She just didn't anticipate on the boy following her.   
  
Or him catching up.  
  
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"Lucius, it is always good to see you." The Professor shook his hand with a genuine smile.   
  
"Severus, we do not talk enough these days." For once Lucius was smiling, not scowling, but he had a real smile. "So what was it so urgent I had to postpone two meetings and pay a visit to this /school/." Obviously he was not thrilled to be back at Hogwarts.   
  
"Yes, well, about that. Draco come here for a moment." He motioned for the boy to come closer, and he did. Standing up from his leaning position on the desk he walked over to the two men.   
  
Snape placed his hand on Draco's shoulder, as he wanted to make sure it was shown that he wasn't speaking against him, he only wanted to help.   
  
"You remember what it was like to be 17, do you not?" this question was directed at Lucius, obviously. And with a smirk he confidently answered, "Yes, there were quite a few unforgettably moments."   
  
"And you do remember the certain allowances Slytherins had and still have?" Lucius nodded, only getting a tad inpatient.   
  
The Professor sighed, dropping his hand. Draco started counting flagstones on the floor, then how many he could connect to make shapes, he needed a distraction as he knew what was coming.   
  
"Slytherin House has always been a bit…wild. And for the most part I look the other way on most things…but I think there is a problem with Draco."   
  
Lucius looked sharply at his son, narrowing his eyes a fraction. Draco could feel his gaze and was thankful he'd been prepared, as he kept studying the floor with such interest. A triangle, a square, a bigger square, and that stone next to his left foot almost looked like the letter Z. Any mindless nonsense was better than fully listening to what was about to be said.  
  
"With unlimited spending funds his taste for drugs has increased to, what I believe, is an unhealthy level. And participating in intercourse with any female who expresses interest is distracting him from more important things, normally this would not be a problem but young women seem to be drawn to him."   
  
Draco knew Professor Snape was only trying to make a point, but at his last comment he smirked. It was a compliment even if it was indirect.   
  
"His grades have dropped over time, although they already were perfect scores so it will not hinder his record to much. But I feel if this routine goes on he will either damage his body beyond repair or fail his required tests and over all grade, maybe both."   
  
If Severus looked uncomfortable before, he now looked down right apprehensive. "There also was an incident during my class. He'd come in late with a friend and had taken something. I do not know what it was but he was acting a complete fool…" He launched into the entire story, giving note to the specific details of every way Draco made a complete idiot of himself.   
  
After the story was through Draco himself was even a bit embarrassed. Had he really done all that…? Having already apologized to his teacher, he never really did realize how much trouble he was lucky enough to escape, and he was grateful to have such a friend.   
  
But now his father was talking, and his voice held such coldness Draco was startled. "Draco, is this true?"   
  
He looked up for a brief moment, then his eyes flitted to the floor, "Yes sir."   
  
There were a few moments of silence, and then Lucius spoke.   
  
"I see. May I have a word alone with my son?"   
  
"Of course Lucius. I'm afraid this is goodbye as I have a meeting to attend to. But thank you for coming in personally and for taking care of this little…" Severus looked over to Draco, "/mishap/."   
  
"It is no problem at all."   
  
Professor Snape left the room, after a small nod to Draco, shutting the door securely behind him.   
  
Lucius didn't waste any time.   
  
"I thought you were intelligent Draco, and I'd had high expectations for you, I really did. Yet your stupidity seems to be showing its self more and more as you get older."   
  
Draco just stood there listening, what else could he do?   
  
But his lack of reaction made Lucius angry. With out warning he strode toward his son and backhanded him.   
  
"How /dare/ you! You've disgraced your family name, you have disgraced /me/." It was a hard blow, but Draco wasn't knocked down. He shook his head slightly and lifted a hand to his face working his jaw, then looked his father in the eye. "Did you just /decide/ to act an imbecile in front of your fellow schoolmates? A plan to make a mockery of your lineage? Was this some cry for attention?!"   
  
"I didn't mean anything of it Father. It won't happen again."   
  
"You are damn right it won't happen again. From now on your allowance is suspended." Ignoring Draco's protests he continued, "Your allowance is suspended, your trips to Hogsmead are no longer permitted, I expect your grades to not only be perfect but they will be beyond perfect. Is this understood?" His voice was colder than ice, with that kind of a tone there was no need to raise his voice.   
  
Yet Draco was starring straight back at him, "No. That is too harsh a punishment. What am I to do with all my spare time? Keep my nose in a book? Maybe I should spend my days in the library 'getting to know' the mudblood Granger."   
  
This time when Lucius' fist made contact with his skull he did loose his balance, he was knocked right into the near by worktable, and then fell to the floor. Draco felt an acute pain in his side, but ignored it.   
  
"You are a disappointment to me Dragon and have much to learn, you will do as told. Your grades are already acceptable, so you will do extra credit assignments and make them grand. You will spend all of your spare time in your dorm room, only coming out for classes and meals. There will be no drugs, no girls, and no alcohol. I have let this go on long enough, and it will stop here! I will talk to Dumbledor about these conditions, and you will not throw a child's tantrum about it."   
  
When he thought his son was going to protest once again he found it necessary to make his point, that he may be at school but that would not stop him from knocking him around. "Don't make me hit you again Draco, you only bring this on your self."   
  
During this little speech Draco had tried to get up, the first time failing, on his second try though he was able to stand up and support himself against the table. Swallowing the blood in his mouth he replied, "There is no need to get that old fool involved in this, I can follow orders. I will do as you ask." His voice was low and soft, he knew when to submit. Before he had looked his father in the eye, and spoke back at him…but every time violence was used he backed down, biding his time till that one day he would strike back at his father, and definitely /not/ just with words.   
  
Lucius closed the distance between him and his son and laid a hand on his shoulder, his other hand held his cheek. Speaking quietly he said, "I know you think I am too hard on you some times, but I'm only preparing you for the world. When you are on your own you will thank me for this, when you are serving our Lord you will be grateful for what I have sacrificed for you. Now give me your ring."   
  
"I know father." He said quietly, as he took the silver ring off his thumb and handed it to him. "I know."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
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	11. One Missing

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"Hey, I asked you to stop for a second." His breath was slightly labored and he couldn't understand why she would just take off like she did. All he could think was, 'She's nutters, absolutely off her rocker, running from people like a feral cat.'  
  
She tried to struggle out of his grip but it was no use. He'd caught her 5 corridors and 2 flights of steps later, this boy who she didn't recognize had out run her and pinned her to the nearest wall looking at her as if she was daft.  
  
"You aren't a prefect so why should I care what you want?" a swift look across him confirmed her suspicions; he had no prefect or head boy badge. But he still had an answer.  
  
With a quick light slap across the temple he responded, "Because I'm a year older, you should respect your elders."  
  
"Not good enough for me." Ginny ground out and kicked him in the shin. That gave her a split second to escape and she took it, but he recaptured her again, this time encircling her with his arms. Her back was pressed against his chest and he found this was a perfect opportunity to tell her what he wanted.  
  
"Calm down! I just need to find Draco!" That made her stop struggling and listen more carefully. She, too, needed to find him. Maybe they could help each other.  
  
"I haven't seen him either. But how did you know to ask me?" Not even her brother had confronted her about frequenting the not so desirable places of Hogwarts, so she knew she wasn't being gossiped about mercilessly, he would have heard.  
  
"Are you civil now? Going to act politely to people who need your help?" he let her go with a little shove, then continued to speak as she turned around to him, "He's mentioned you once or twice, and I've seen you around with him. So, where is he?"  
  
She looked him up and down a fare bit, maybe even more than what was necessary, and decided she hadn't a clue as to who he was. Black hair, brown eyes, tall and slightly mean looking. She'd seen him around but still could not place him. "What's your name?"  
  
He looked bored and slightly pissed off. "No chit chat, just tell me where he is, I got something that he needs."  
  
"Well, then, I dunno."  
  
"You don't know?"  
  
"That's what I said. Hard of hearing are we?"  
  
"Shut your mouth for two seconds, alright?"  
  
"Why? You're the one that started harassing me first. Which, by the way, I hope is over and I'm free to leave." Ginny turned to leave in the opposite direction, but he still needed to find Draco and she was the only one really around him lately.  
  
"Just a minute, you were probably the last to see him. Are you sure you don't know where he is?"  
  
She sighed then answered, "Yes I'm pretty damn sure I don't know where he is." Then after a pause, "Don't you share a dorm with him? Maybe he just closed his curtains and is still sleeping."  
  
"I don't share a dorm with Malfoy, he has a private room. But we could check there."  
  
"We?"  
  
"Yes, we."  
  
"Why 'we'?"  
  
"You are going to help me find him. I saw you scanning every room you come across, don't try and tell me you were looking for some one."  
  
"I could be looking for another person entirely, how could you possibly know…You were following me?"  
  
"After a fashion. I thought you would lead me to him but you hadn't by afternoon so I thought I'd better help or at least get down what you knew. Neither was helpful I'll have you know."  
  
Ginny scowled slightly at this. "Oh shut it. Fine I'll help. Do you know where this dorm room is, any ways? That's where I would look"  
  
"Yeah, I know." He said and turned away, he was walking down the hall they'd come from. And though it was a good idea he hadn't bothered to check it out before, lately Draco had been out and about more often than not so why bother?  
  
"The name's Blaise, by the way…and you are?"

* * *

****

Draco could have found a better place to hide than his first choice, the trophy room, but didn't particularly care if any one found him. He'd already gone and collected his homework from Magonagle and after getting nothing but a headache out of it he decided starring out the window would profit him just as much if not better than completing the assignments.  
  
His ring, which was now missing because of his father, used to sit so comfortably on his thumb that he missed the familiar weight and often ran his index finger over the area just to make sure it was really gone. Part of him was in denial and another part of him had the 'I should have known better' tone. What had he been thinking? Yes, in a way, his habits had gotten a bit wilder. He wasn't concerned with grades or making it to classes on time so why should he stop drinking, or dosing, after 3 am. A flash of his fathers disapproving face almost turned his stomach; he couldn't face that man again so he at least had to make it look like he had everything in order.  
  
What he really needed right now, or what he convinced himself that he needed, was some X. Blaise had some of his, unmarked, that Draco had asked for. They always borrowed from each other, and even though Draco didn't trust any one with his stash or the like, he did trust Blaise to a point. They could borrow back and forth or ask for a loan and he knew he'd get every cent, or every pill back. Blaise knew Draco was good for it too, but now he wondered if his father was going to tell any one about his restriction. Yes, he was a bit put off by not being able to enter his favorite place in the school but he could still get the drugs from people around.  
  
He knew of some one in the Ravenclaw house who started out on speed to help him study, then went into dealing coke for this no name, no face provider. Some say he was from Hogsmead and met the Ravenclaw kid when he was studying at a pub, no one knows because no one really talks about it. But Draco had seen the kits that were sold from this source. A fake wand filled with coke, and it also came with a travel mirror, razor blade and straw. Brilliant idea and the quality wasn't this sugar coated shit that was passed around down town London. There was always a scare, or a thrill, when he heard about some one turning up dead because a batch turned out to be more potent than expected. This was a flaw guaranteed never to happen when you buy from the mysterious source he'd heard about. It had to be flawless; any overdosing in the school couldn't be covered up with out too much damage done by nosey parents. An all in one a drug pusher's playground could go up in smoke, so every one had to be careful.  
  
Draco paused his thoughts for a second to look as his hand. He didn't know why but he really just wished his father had taken the spell off the ring and let him keep it. But what's done is done and he couldn't even replace it now because he had no money. Just that thought alone killed him; Draco Malfoy with No Money, Ridiculous. But it was true. And as soon as his mind wrapped around that fact a heavy depression came upon him and settled there. He didn't even have a drink or two left in his dorm to cure him.  
  
He felt tired, drained and slightly irritated at his situation. How was he supposed to enjoy life with out drugs? Does his father really expect him to just sit in his room, day after day, turning out grade A parchments until he graduated? Just thinking about obeying his father depressed him further. That fate was worse than any he could think of…well, maybe an arranged marriage between him and the Mudblood would be enough to make him shoot himself with a muggle gun. His fate was just one notch above that one.  
  
Sighing Draco pulled him self up from the window sill he was slouching on and gathered the spilled parchments and few small books that had fallen into a pile beside him on the floor where he'd thrown them earlier. It was late afternoon now and his stomach ached with hunger at not being fed. He would have to wander down to the kitchens and torture the house elves for some food, a nice meal would have been good but he had to show up for dinner and it might as well be with an appetite. So for now he would just grab a small snack, maybe some kind of a drink as well…water would have to do. He'd heard that helps. Every time you want a drink, down water until you couldn't drink any more. He'd have to actually see if that worked or not, it might come in handy.  
  
On his way down to the kitchens Draco made sure to keep in corridors that held little to no light, and away from any more than seldom used passages as he did not want to stop and talk with any one, or stop and fight, which ever. He hadn't gotten to impatient yet but he'd seen it happen. When Zabini tried to quit smoking he snapped at every one, including him, and was always irritable. Draco could only imagine his situation would be worse because even then Blaise was sneaking cigs every once in a while, while he had nothing to go back on. He could maybe complain to Ginny about head aches or something and get a few pills, but he wasn't sure if they would work well or not.

* * *

****

"He's not here…I know that, you know that…so why aren't we gone yet?" It baffled her how one boy could be as damn egotistical as Blaise was and still be found charming by girls, or so he claims. She'd seen him at the Underground, now that she'd had more time to place where she'd remembered him from. He had a sense of humor to some degree but mostly scowled at her, turned corners with out her knowing then yelling that she was totally daft because she couldn't do something as simple follow the leader and so on.  
  
"I kind of wanted to wait. Besides, what do you care? Have anything to do this afternoon that is /so/ important?" At the moment Ginny was pacing lightly in the middle of the room, nervous. Blaise on the other hand had made himself comfortable lounging with a borrowed book on the small sofa facing the fireplace, opposite of, and his back was facing the door and her. To his right was a window where the drapes were drawn so he could see the time of day and to his left was his friends bed, where if Blaise got to bored he would just help himself to his friends stash of peppermint schnapps he knew was hidden by the head bored.  
  
'Oh hell', he thought. 'Why should I even wait for boredom?' Blaise stood and walked over to the bed feeling down the side of the frame until a loose panel made its self know. Ginny had stopped pacing as soon as he moved. She wanted to know what he was doing but did not want to ask just yet, she would rather wait and see; besides she doubted he would have answered very nicely.  
  
"Damn." He muttered.  
  
"What is it?" Ginny walked cautiously toward him.  
  
"Nothing…it's just…there's nothing here."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Blaise sighed. "You know his habits right?" he was of course referring to Draco's drinking/smoking/drug taking habits, so she nodded. "Well, usually he keeps a stash right here" he indicated the loose panel "and nothing is there so I checked another place by his bed side table, and it was empty as well…that is just very odd."  
  
It sounded odd to her, even though she just found out herself where these stashes were. But soon her mind spun so many bad things she could hardly keep up.  
  
He ran away.  
  
He was in trouble.  
  
Some one was stealing from him and might have hurt him if he found out.  
  
He took all of his drugs and overdosed somewhere in the castle and she could not find him.  
  
The last idea she'd thought of scared her more than anything else. It wouldn't have totally surprised her if that's what had happened. He'd tried it before hadn't he? What would be so different now?  
  
Some one was talking to her so slowly her attention was pulled to the surface of her consciousness.  
  
"Hey, I said, are you ok. You're shaking and look kind of pale. Not that you can get much paler than you already are." She looked at him with a haunted look and he could see she felt weak almost. "Alright, alright, I was joking, you have a very lovely complexion. Alright now?" He snapped his fingers in hopes of getting her out of what ever she had gotten into.  
  
"I'm…I'm fine. It's just that…"  
  
"Just, what?"  
  
"Well, lately Draco has been taking a few less drugs that he used to…I was just wondering if maybe he went a bit overboard trying to make up for lost time…"  
  
He understood, and he'd thought about that to but the space that held each hoard of drugs was also cleaned. Draco, if in a mood of his, would defiantly not care if the space was dusted when everything was removed. He tried to explain this to her, which only served to convince her more of her other theory…some one had hurt him; either way she wanted to know where he was now just so she could see he was all in one piece.  
  
"He's probably just out smoking somewhere, calm down girl." It was the most comforting thing he'd said to her all day. "My cat is in the Underground waiting for him there and I've said around that I'm looking for him so he can send his owl to find me or something, ok? We'll find him soon."  
  
Color had come back into her cheeks and she felt her stomach return to normal from its previous harboring of butterflies.  
  
"God, if I'd of known you were so attached maybe I wouldn't have brought you along kid. I don't need you fainting at the thought of something happening to your beloved Draco…"  
  
He was standing close enough for her to smack him, so she did. "Shut up, I'm not a kid and Draco is /not/ mine. I just...I need something." The last comment was more towards herself, but he'd heard it. And with a seemingly practiced flick of his hand a tin box appeared and a moment later she saw were little pills were inside under the tarnished lid.  
  
"Well, Draco may be out, but I certainly am not."  
  
She took a tiny one between her index and thumb, examining it. "Its…a little flame." She looked at him, eyes sparkling. "Blaise, flame, how clever." Her small smile and enjoyment of having found this out was almost irresistible. In his eyes she wasn't beautiful, not some one who caught your eye…but as time past she defiantly grew on you. She started out as Obnoxious Liability and now was rated as Potential Play Thing. Something he would not have minded.  
  
"Come on, just take one and we can have a fare time waiting for him. By the time you get back down he'll be here and everything will be fine." His voice purred with persuasion, and she was tempted. Draco hadn't shown her anything new lately and these little pills were so cute, they couldn't be that bad if they were that small, right?  
  
"I…"

But she never got the chance to answer…

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(A/N): No promises about updating, but I will say this: an email from a fan really motivated me to get going on this. Reviews always help as well :o) thanks all.


	12. The Janes

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"I…think I'm going to leave." Pushing the little white pill out of her sight, with effort, she turned toward the door. "If you see Draco, tell him he owes me lunch."  
  
Blaise was slightly surprised she didn't take him up on his offer, that hasn't happened to often. "I'm not your messenger boy /Weasley/."  
  
Ginny was half way across the room but stopped abruptly. Some how she knew the way he had said her name meant something more than just a title.  
  
"So, you know who I am." It wasn't a question, but he answered any way.  
  
"Yeah, I know who you are; recognized you first thing when you came into the club with him. I don't think any one else has hair as red as yours."  
  
"He knows then does he? Draco hadn't said anything about it."  
  
"…I don't think he does know. It's not like you were a popular subject to watch out for, or anything." He had relaxed a bit from the previous insult of being a message carrier for Malfoy, but now Blaise was tense for another reason; she was standing very close.  
  
"Oh, I see." She sounded slightly disappointed but didn't let on as to why. "Well, I'll be off then. Maybe I'll see him around."  
  
She didn't fell particularly threatened by his usage of her last name & what else could she do? There wasn't really a way to find him, and she certainly wasn't going to ask around after him, so sitting and waiting was her only feasible option, and she wasn't going to sit and wait with him.  
  
But he let her go with no difficulty; he had better things to waste his time on, for now. He entertained the idea of letting Draco know her little secret, as she left the room, but forgot about her almost entirely as his friend entered about half an hour later.  
  
Blaise had been reading a book he'd carried along with him in his pack; he needed to catch up on a chapter or two any way and didn't mind waiting. When Draco entered the room though he let the book drop to the bed cover he was sitting on.  
  
"You look like hell Malfoy. What the fuck happened?"  
  
"I…nothing, it's nothing." He did look like hell, he also felt like hell. His head was pounding slightly, and his teeth ached for a tempting illegal substance that he could now not reach. Running his hands through his hair he took a deep breath and surveyed his friend.  
  
Blaise had sat up as soon as Draco'd entered the room, but he just waved him back, not wanting him to get up. Instead he too sat down and leaned against the headboard.  
  
"You will never guess what my fucking father did to me…"

.  
  
Ginny had decided to go back to her room and study some more before dinner. She was all the way back to the tower by the time she fit a few pieces of a puzzle together. Blaise, Blaise was the boy starring at her so intensely before. She hadn't thought of it till now, but couldn't figure how she missed it in the first place. Shaking her head from side to side Ginny pushed away all other unsorted details. It didn't matter any more, not really, she hadn't any idea where all this was leading to. What was 'all this'? Her/Draco/drugs/kisses/wanting more from him/afraid he'll reject her as Weasley scum…. That's what 'all this' was. And in a way it tore her up inside, keeping secrets, from her brothers, from the few friends that she did have occasionally.  
  
'But why should I have such a dull, boring life when every one else is out getting their highs?' A rebellious voice came from Goddess knew where, but Ginny couldn't ignore it. It was right! The Trio goes out and gets their kicks by "Fighting Evil"; Fred and George snuck out of Hogwarts when they had attended there just for the thrill of maybe getting caught (though that was always rare indeed); and every one else, she was sure, had a much more exciting existence. So why shouldn't she? It's not like she was hurting any one. Draco had told her that the few things she had tired wouldn't even faze her in the long run, and that many more people had done much worse when their body couldn't handle it.  
  
But that's what Draco did, way more than he can handle. And it delighted her in a small way that he wanted to include her in his private world, yet scared her because she had seen him strung out before and knew that he still was continuing what he had first started.  
  
'Though," she tried to tell her self logically, 'I can be with him now when he does most of it and I can stop him if he tries to do too much.' Yes, that was her perfect excuse. Saint Ginny there to save the perpetually stupid and expectantly self destructive. Hmmm, the title seemed to fit her well.  
  
When she had reached the portal and pulled out the bundle of food from her robe pocket Ginny climbed the stairs to her dorm room, unnoticed, and bent on having an opportunity to study chapter 7 of her muggle studies booklet.  
  
She was a fair bit along in her chapter, munching on a roll and butter, when she heard the scratching. Lightly at first, then a touch frantic as it continued.  
  
"What on earth…?" It came from the far door, but if it was a person they would have knocked; unless they were entirely nutters. Ginny sat up fully now and set her feet against the cold wood floor. Yes, the noise was still there, and even a little mewing sound.  
  
Rushing to the door and pulling it open revealed a little black kitten who had been trying to push its way through the door. Finally, at being let in, he leaped and bound his way to her bed and climbed up the comforter. And there he sat, head cocked to one side, then the other, and meowed once or twice.  
  
It was the cutest thing she'd ever seen. Picking him up and cradling the little thing she sat down again and scratched his chin and belly. He was so small and cute Ginny couldn't help it. It took her a few minutes to notice the collar. A tiny strap of leather with pieces of spiky metal in it, the tag read 'Ash', but no owners name was present. And then she saw the note tucked under the collar.

.  
  
"So, how did you figure this out?"  
  
Blaise and Draco were walking down a corridor that would lead them to some other connecting passages, which, in turn, would eventually lead them to The Underground. But not directly.  
  
"It was back in third year, remember when I got my ring stolen?"  
  
"That nice black one?"  
  
"Yeah, well I couldn't just wait two weeks or so to get another one. So I did some research and it turns out one of the bed rooms has a weak spot. They're all over the place actually, that's why we have to cast so many concealing charms annually, certain places are weaker than others."  
  
"And this will lead us to the club?"  
  
Blaise almost grinned. "Straight through the backdoor so to speak."  
  
The hall way stretched on forever in front of them, and soon he became more oriented with his surroundings. Draco grabbed his friends arm; he just realized where they were going, though it had been a while since he'd been down there.  
  
"We're going to see the Janes?"  
  
Shrugging off the loose grip Blaise kept the same pace and gave a quick look back at him. "Yeah, is that a problem? It's the only way in, unless you have a better idea?"  
  
"No, never mind. I just haven't been down here in ages."  
  
"I know. I still come down here occasionally because I don't feel like working for it half the time and of course not all of us are such pretty boys like you."  
  
Both laughed. "Shut it Zabini."  
  
The Janes were legendary around Hogwarts, they were the best on the grounds at doing what every boarding school supposedly lacks; sex. Draco had gone round them when he was younger just for the hell of it. Why not? He was good looking enough for them to give him time with out paying. But as he matured he came to them less and less, he was more interested in the chase rather than just picking one out against a wall. No sport means no fun.  
  
Draco did remember Blaise spent a fair amount of time down there when he was having troubles with Angela last year, but other than that he was popular enough to get some. He understood the advantages though, a shag with no strings attached, no commitments and 'I love you's, or awkward silences in the morning. No gossipy pack of girls knowing every detail about your dick and so on. The Janes policy on keeping their mouth shut, unless putting it to good use, was appealing.  
  
A memory came to him then, of a time in his fifth year, something he had almost forgotten. When they could not find a leader for them, their former had been called home on account of family trouble, which left the Janes with no one in charge. A seventh year Slytherin had taken the job and as a result it almost collapsed the whole structure of the organization, which would have brought down the club as well. He refused to teach the new girls all of the protection charms on the account of 'it dulled the sensation, what's the point?'. Some of the older girls struggled to keep up with the fledglings and teach them everything properly for their safety and others. Then he decided that because he technically ran the place that he could have any girl he wanted at any time, sometimes withholding promised girls just for spite.  
  
It didn't last long. For the first time since any one could remember a girl, not originally a Jane, stood up and took over. She made everything allot better and set an age restriction for workers, clearing out all the 13 year olds that had been previously recruited. Since then things had run smoothly for every one, at least that's what Draco had heard.  
  
The difference though between Janes and whores was a world apart to him. Whores could line up against the doors on the inside of the club at any given time and for any price, usually low or for some kind of a hit. They looked like the junkie bitches that they were known to be. Janes, on the other hand, had their own lounging room, still connected to the club via the bed rooms, and each girl had her own fixed price. You had to talk it out with Ashley, their current leader, to find out how much you would owe for an hour or so. Also Janes get first picks on everything; whores could loose a client by having to clear out of the bedroom for a Jane.  
  
He didn't know any of the current girls, like he'd said earlier; he hadn't been there in a while. But a few rose to greet Blaise as if he were a long lost friend.  
  
Ashley stood to welcome her guests, her Hogwarts skirt hiked up a bit too high and her strawberry blond hair in a pony tail she looked to be fifteen. But people knew better, she was graduating that year, same as them. Not to mention she packed a pretty mean right hook.  
  
"Blaise, I haven't seen you in a while. Getting tired of us already?" She leaned in lightly and kissed him. Politely he returned the kiss and answered.  
  
"I've been busy, Angela, you know." He made an inpatient gesture with his hand.  
  
"Oh. Well, we aren't technically open for business till seven and I hadn't received any word so most of my girls aren't even here. But I'm sure we can work something out."  
  
She had been speaking to Blaise the entire time, not fully acknowledging Draco, but he cleared his throat and interrupted any ways. "We're not here for girls."  
  
A look of confusion crossed her face. "But…I only have one boy and I'm not sure he'd go for…"  
  
Blaise cut her off before she could even envision what ever torrid scenario she was about to spell out.  
  
"For God's sake, Ash! We're not here for…for service. We just need to get through a room." He couldn't help but laugh. Draco didn't find it particularly funny, but tried a half smile, and failed. Though it didn't mater, her eyes were on Blaise.  
  
"Oh!" She laughed as well. "Go right ahead. Are you in some kind of trouble? Get kicked out did you?" her smile was infectious to Blaise, but Draco just felt like an intruder in their space. He almost wanted to take a step back but feared the movement would break their trance.  
  
"No, no trouble, we just want to meet some one there is all."  
  
"Ok. Maybe I'll see you around later." She leaned in for another kiss, a bit longer this time, and then whispered against his mouth, "Give Angela my regards?"  
  
"Sure thing." He breathed when she had left them to sit back down.  
  
Both boys walked to the specific room in silence and shut the door; as soon as the click sounded both doubled over in laughter. Draco couldn't help it, the moment had almost seemed serious, but now was full of humor. Just the thought of Blaise even letting on that he had been unfaithful to Angela was funny in a way that you'd next expect her to turn into a vela and rip off his head. When he could catch his breath he managed to get out a sentence or two.  
  
"Angela is going to scratch your eyes out Zabini, I can't believe you still haven't decided which one you like more!"  
  
Blaise who had caught his breath as well could only respond, "I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm fortunate enough to keep both for now." Then more seriously. "She's full of life though isn't she? Quite a sense of humor too. Angela is so reserved compared to her."  
  
After they'd had settled down Draco's stomach reminded him that he didn't have all day to wait. It clenched at the recent activity of laughing and now he felt like his stomach was sticking to his spine even though he had grabbed something to eat earlier. Obviously it didn't want real food, just something to numb the sensation.  
  
"I don't know if I can wait for her, I need something right now." His hand absentmindedly rubbed his stomach, willing the knowing pain to go away, but it did not subside.  
  
"You know I can give you some of the stuff now and I can stay up waiting, if you want." His tone was odd but the pain that had been faint all afternoon now took on with a vengeance and Draco didn't care about anything except stopping it.  
  
"What do you have, I don't even remember what I left in here." He laid down on the bed breathing deeply, trying to listen for Blaises response over the dull roar in his ears.  
  
"Well, for now, I only have some of that X I was going to bring you," a few white pills with dragons stamped on them appeared on the bedspread. "Then you have these," a selection of tiny chalky pink pills made their way into his line of vision.  
  
"Meth?"  
  
"Yeah, it's yours, not mine so no need to pay me back ok? I also got some crystals from my own stash, I don't mind sharing."  
  
"No, I need…I need something else. Stronger"  
  
"Alright, try these they'll make you flip."  
  
Blaise produced his small tin of X from his pocket, but instead of pills he peeled up the top lining and pulled out a tiny slip of paper that was stashed, a small skull and crossing bones were printed on it. Draco placed it on his tongue and closed his eyes, breathing deep, just wanting all this to stop.  
  
"It'll be ok, just give it a little bit." Until that point in time though he would have to suffer a small amount, but in seconds there was a piece of metal pushed to his lips. Blaise had lit up some weed for him till the acid could start working.  
  
"Just to tide you over, alright. But don't take anything else, you won't need it, I promise."  
  
"Alright." He tried to mumble, but wasn't sure if he even made a noise as he fumbled to keep the lighter over the open part of the metal piece and inhale deeply. It looked like a tiny bowl set on a small box (both so small you could cradle it in your hands) and then a pipe led from it so you could smoke it.  
  
He heard voices at one point, but it didn't matter. A girl was sitting next to him, talking, it sounded foreign. He tried to tell her that everything was fine, that there was no reason for her to be scared of his friend who was also in the room. But she wouldn't listen; she talked faster and sounded like she'd inhaled helium, her words sticking together, almost unrecognizable. He told her that it wasn't his problem, he didn't know where the stars were kept, and that he couldn't reach them any way. Then she nodded and her eyes, as big as saucers, rolled in her head.  
  
Draco blinked once, twice, and then told her to stop; it was making him dizzy. The girl nodded, her eyes getting twice as big as before, her teeth turned to bits of broken glass that cut her lips when she tried to speak. He covered his eyes, but that did not help, he could see through his fingers, he could see through her head, he could see anything he wanted. And so he looked away, he was looking from the ceiling now, he could see himself lying down on his side, head on a pillow. But there was something else. A rustling sound, loud and intruding, filled his ears. What was it? Then he saw. At some point the ground had grown green grass and ferns, the rustling sound came from the dead body that was being dragged across them. The monster needed to feed now, Draco was just glad it wasn't him.  
  
The monster dragged the body behind a huge red fern that looked to be made of clay; Draco heard crunching sounds and mentally turned away from the thing. The forest grew more, he noticed, it pulsed with his own heart beat. Every minute added more foliage of strange design.  
  
The girl now was crying, the same one with saucer eyes.  
  
"Stop crying." He told her. He couldn't feel his body directly, but I knew that her muffled cries and moans where giving him a head ache. She was begging some one to stop something. But he didn't care, he had to stop her voice, silence her.  
  
"Stop it, I said!" But she did not, and so he had to make her stop. He saw the flesh on her face peel away, until there was nothing but bone, and bones could not cry, so he was happy. . .

.

* * *

A/N: Any one want to guess what is happening? Yes, I like this chapter much better; it's in the same tone as the rest of The Abyss as well. And yeah, Draco is tripping out. In case you hadn't caught on, there really isn't a forest growing in his room with a monster in it, or a freaky looking girl with glass shards for teeth. It's the Acid kicking in. But I will say this as a hint towards the next chapter…even though Draco is trippin there are some bits of reality in there of what's happening right now that readers don't know about  
  
Till next time  
  
Dimi


	13. bullshit, don't read

Note: this was the original chapter 12, but i was smoking crack when i wrote this...i swear, lol. It's so scrweed and far fetch, i'm not sure why i even put it up. BUT I have replaced the this with the REAL chapter 1 titled: The Janes. please go read and ignore this dribble.

and you better be happy with 'The Janes', i stayed up till 4 in the morning (even thoug i had to work at 8 today) putting that shit together just so you could read it. p

* * *

"What's going on here?"  
  
Ginny almost jumped; Draco had entered his room with out making a sound.  
  
"Nothing, we were looking for you." Blaise had answered and by the time Ginny's heart rate slowed down the little tin box was once again out of site.  
  
Draco, who had taken in the room, rested his eyes on her and giving a half smile said, "Hello." And in a warning tone spoke to Blaise directly.  
  
"What is she doing here? No, don't even explain, I don't want to know." He waved his hand once as if cutting off any response Blaise had managed to conjure in the brief amount of time and walked over to the bed to set down his shoulder pack. He looked slightly exhausted. Sighing he sat down as well and leaned against the head board where Blaise had previously been lounging.  
  
"Well," Draco started when no one else had said anything, "Is there something any of you need or can I be left alone now that I'm found?" He closed his eyes and placed his hands behind his head.  
  
Ginny, who hadn't seen this type off attitude from him since previous years, was confused. Didn't he care that people were worried about him- well, at least she was worried about him.  
  
"What the hell is your problem Draco? The red head was worried sick about you and if I'd of gotten caught carrying what you specifically asked for I would of been dead. So how about a little appreciation, huh?"  
  
At the mention of Ginny he'd cracked an eye open, smirked and asked smartly "Really?". But Blaise continued to talk.  
  
"Yeah, really, she'd been worried to death. Not to mention I've been trying to reach you since this morning! I sent Ash to wait for you- "  
  
"Oh, yes, I did run into Ash."  
  
Blaise stopped for a minute at the mention of his cat. "Well, what did you do? You didn't you send him back."  
  
"I didn't care if he had a message at the time so I kicked him."  
  
Taking a threatening step toward the bed he raised his voice, "Fuck you Malfoy-!"  
  
"Boys! Boys" Both had partially forgotten Virginia was in the room, and she was increasingly becoming aware to the fact that these two may be friends but that wouldn't stop them from hexing each other. And her annoyance finally peaked between when she realized Draco was acting like an ass because another male was in the room and when the swearing started. She'd had enough.  
  
"We were looking for you Draco, you just up and disappeared with out a word to any one. And I thought we were going to have lunch today but I guess that didn't matter to you either." She made a huffing noise and crossed her arms.  
  
"Well, dam it Gin. I had something I had to do today."  
  
"Oh so I guess it's alright then."  
  
"No, I didn't say that-"  
  
"You might as well have."  
  
"But I didn't!"  
  
"That's not the point!"  
  
"Wait, wait. Hold on here!" by now Ginny too had stepped closer to the bed and Draco had put his legs over the side, leaning forward trying to reason with her. And Blaise, through all of this, had taken a step back, observing.  
  
"Are you two…dating?"  
  
"What?!" the exclamation had come from both Ginny and Draco, and by the flush that crept up Ginnys cheeks Blaise had all the evidence he needed.  
  
"You are, aren't you? Christ, you sound like an old married couple already."  
  
"Blaise, don't be daft. I'm not dating her."  
  
Ginny who'd been giving her attention to Blaise looked sharply at Draco. His comment had stung a bit, like he was damn sure he'd never date her.  
  
"Oh, sorry, I just couldn't imagine you shacked up with a Gryfindor."  
  
Through the silence in the room you could have heard a pin drop.  
  
Authors Note: I think my writing style has changed slightly, if not dramatically, in my eyes; so sorry if this chapter is a bit out of place. But it's been written for 2 months and I haven't changed it for the better so I might as well put it up and move on.


End file.
